Bereft

Okay not quite. Michelle and Ruth are back in NZ. We have had a fantastic two weeks. It really was lots of fun to have the three of us celebrating and we were easy travelling companions. Went off to the only queer nightclub last Saturday.......it was someone's 30th and, well, the place just rocked. In the interests of being my "new self" I even had a dance or two. We ended up walking home in the small hours - not so bad for me as I was the first house on the list. We also went down to the Boardwalk by the sea and had a ride on the roller coasters and went to a restaurant on the wharf. All very nice. Michelle drove us up into the Santa Cruz Mountains (which are full of red wood trees, I think, big and tall anyway) for a wine tasting on Sunday. Very pleasant it was. Went to one vineyard and they had a special tasting of their award winning Pinot Noir - yummy and unexpected. For the last night we got Michelle's flattie and all went off to the local wine bar I went to on my first night. It was fun and there was lots of laughter.
I am just trying to organise going to the Ranch for Peter's birthday on the 4th of July. It's his 80th and, like all birthdays, they only come around once so I really want to go. It will be lovely to see everyone at the Ranch too. K & B won't be there on the day but will be back on the ranch on the 5th, so I'll stay on a few days and catch up with them too.
It's a hard life being me!

Three cheers for Dr E!

We've spent the last week celebrating Michelle getting her Phd.........she is now officially a Dr of Philosophy. Because we can't do these things by half we started in Las Vagas. M and I got to LV on Monday afternoon and Ruth arrived about two hours later. It was lovely to see her! We all shared a room (M kindly provided the earplugs but somehow we all managed). During the day we lounged by the pool (complete with buckets of beer). There are five or six pools in the MGM and one of them is set up like a winding river - complete with current. Temperatures got as high as 100F so it was hot as but lovely to sit in the shade. During the evenings we wandered around looking at the lights etc etc etc, including going out for at least two fantastic dinners. Did some gambling, not much, but I did manage to make $100 off $2 from the pokie machine - we weren't really big on the gambling thing.

Got back to SC on Thursday and went to M's graduation ceremony on Friday. It was fab - laid out on sportsfields you look out to the sea. Not a lot of ceremony to it - laid back and very personal as there are so few graduating with Phds. No national anthem either - sound track from the opening credits to paramount (or Warner) movies and star wars while faculty and graduates parade through the seating. Aftwards we went back to Ms where she had a few friends over, sat around, ate mexican food and generally toasted the day. M also had a "Pricess Cake" specially dressed just for her.

It's none of my business but...

I'm sitting in a cafe, writing, it's what the students do here - free internet and probably nicer than most of the houses they live in (mine too) - not the point. I’ve just overheard someone in a café commenting that “maybe it’s un-American not to care” – she is joking and I don’t know what she was talking about but it’s a testament to the power of US culture. Have you ever heard a kiwi say it would be un-kiwi or “unpatriotic” to do or say anything?

Gay Pride

On Sunday Michelle and I headed off to the gay pride march and festivities. It was a fab day. Predictably the boys really did turn out in the most fantastic outfits. Athough I did think Obama might have been amused to see his name on the butt of one of the roller girls!
Being Santa Cruz all shapes, sizes and political persuasions were represented. Dykes on Bikes lead the parade (of course, somethings stay the same no matter where you are) and we both loved the Latino dancers - a rare sight M tells me. We stood across from the only gay bar in SC (at least they have one) so
we not only got to watch the parade but the crowd as well. My favourte character of all (and she wasn't in the parade) had to be the Paris Hilton girl.........do you think it's rude to take photos of random people? In case it's not immediately obvious, that is a little dog in her purse. After the parade we wandered into the park where there were a whole bunch of tents selling stuff and promoting various political activities. There was a stage and a series of live performances as well. The SF Cheerleaders (boys and girls) were a hit as they tossed people in the air and generally showed disgusting amounts of energy given the heat of the day. The park was alcohol and smoke free so it was very laid back. I checked it out and SC is about the size of Nelson and probably has a similar type of community - although the University adds a dimension that Nelson doesn't have. Aging hippies sit easily with the more youthful variety. There's also a big mixture of homeless people with quite a large chunk in their late teens or early twenties. Mostly they are pleasant enough and it all just comes with the territory.
Monday we head to LV for the long anticipated trip. Ruth is flying in from NZ and it will be really nice to see her. She's coming back to SC for Michelle's grad as well (although she's been here before). Then her and M head back to NZ.
I'm still enjoying the writing and have had my "first reading" - which has given me some really useful feedback and I seem to be on the right track. I might actually pull this whole thing off! No idea what I will do once the book is done, I guess it will become clear and I am surprisingly nonplussed about it. It could be this lack of a job (and all the stress that goes with it) suits me. Mostly it's had me realise just how exhausted I was when I arrived in the US. I really was at the end of my energy and in desperate need of down time. I am "a pig in muck" - on ocassion I pop out of the pen (or the cave), look around, sniff the air then head right back in again...........I think I'll just follow my instincts for now and see where theylead me!

Ticking along

So "we" have handed on "our" phd - although only one of us actually wrote it and will be called a Doctor at the end. Oh well I guess you don't just get handed these things for being a good person, apparently it does require a little more effort. Mostly being with M is what the last few weeks have been all about. We had a little party on Friday with the two of us and her flattie, Judith, to celebrate. Judith runs her own business doing "body work" - I can tell you all the things its not (massage, chiropractic etc) but maybe not what it is. Since I left the ranch I've had a really painful shoulder. Kind of stiff and just not coming right. Went to Judith and wow - I am 100% better and it was the most gentle process ever. She's amazingly skilled and you almost don't realise anything is happening at all. Not quite but it certainly left me much more aware of just where I do have aches and pains (protecting that gimpy leg takes up a lot of my time so I almost forget the rest of me). I've also been writing too which has been very good. Aiming to get "something" to the publishers to look at in July..........then of course they have to say it's fab and we want you, sign a contract and.......then I need to finish writing the rest of it. Both M and the new flattie have convinced me that I shouldn't find work until Autumn and spend the summer writing. Now that hasn't been hard to agree to! On the countdown to LV and I am making sure to save all my quarters, being the high roller that I am. Now here's a movie worth seeing The War Tapes: Armed with minicams mounted on their gun turrets, helmets and dashboards, three National Guardsmen capture an unprecedented perspective of the Iraq war in this powerful documentary culled from more than 1,000 hours of footage. Deftly interlaced with harrowing film of ambushes, explosions and severed limbs are the soldiers' complex reactions to the conflict and interviews with the women they left behind.
I'd never heard of it but the flattie had so we got it via Netflix, which is this very cool system where you sign on and order DVDs on line, they are posted to you, no late fees and you send them back using a return envelop. You can also watch a heap of movies on line as well......... But back to WT - it really is quite startling to see how they all change during their 12 month deployment. Quite graphic in places, gives you a real sense of what it must be like. It was filmed in 2004 - I bet they wouldn't let them do it now.

You know you've landed when.....

a. You go out and buy sheets, towels and sundry other items that make for a home
b. You not only remember your street address but your zip code as well
c. You boldly change your Amazon postal address, sure that you will still be here when the book arrives
d. You commit to buying a dryer for the flat (nothing else is yours, the flat really needs one and you need to start getting a credit rating) and your flat mate is delighted
e. The cat sleeps with you at least some of the night
f. You say things like "I'm heading home"
g. Your shelf in the fridge is full and you have your very own cupboard
h. You, who never does these things, has continued to put a little bunch of flowers, picked from the garden, on your dresser draw, just 'cos it looks nice
i. .............you really start to believe in a future, in this town, doing something you love

Viva Las Vegas and stuff

My second week in SC and I am happily settled in my new home. It could be life is just a series of coincidences but in the strangest twist of all it turns out my flattie (from here on in known as M) is doing her Masters in Fine Arts focusing on how new media facilitates everyone participating in the military – or something along those lines. We've only had a quick conversation but I couldn’t believe it given she didn’t know what my book was about; guess there’s a certain sense of serendipity. I’ve started a new blog too. It’s all about the process of writing the book. Really it’s my own rambling thoughts about some stuff so if you’re not into the writing thing best to ignore it. There’s a link on the right for those that care. I’ll keep going with nzalien focusing on “life in general”.
I’ve spent the last week supporting Michelle while she writes her Phd. Mostly just being here, getting her fed and generally reminding her that “this too shall pass”. I, of course, have a vested interest as we have booked ourselves on a cheapee deal to Las Vegas for three days/four nights staying at the MGM Grand on the strip to celebrate. We leave on 11 June through 14 June – yeeha. Neither of us are gamblers (except to sit at the pokies and get free drinks) but both like the spa thing. We’ve both been before so can skip some things and know what to expect. Day after we get back is Michelle’s actual graduation. Wow! Following week she heads back to NZ…….which also means she will be able to get some of the info I need for the book and post it back. ‘tis all falling into place.
I’m not going to look for anything resembling a job until after LV. I’m now riding around on Michelle’s bike – remember keep right look left. Toying with the idea of getting a motorbike as well. I expect this will complete my “mid-life crisis”. Not much point having a car in SC, buses are good and you can walk to most places but a bike would be good to get to some of the areas further out and, well, it just might be fun.

Happy daze

I have had a remarkable 48 hrs. First and most importantly - I have a home. I arrived to find a lovely note from my new flattie, a little bunch of flowers in my room and a very warm and friendly "goldfish" (ginger cat, who was happily lounging on my bed when I arrived). The cottage is small but sweet and Margaretha has lots of flowers and plants around. It's not at all flash but genuinely cosy with very lovely arty touches. My room will be a wonderful place to write and the house and the neighbourhood I live in mostly smells of roses and gypsophila with a mixture of truely rustic and highly cultivated gardens. The smells remind me of holidays in Central Otago and nana's house (which always smelt of some flower or another). It has also been incredibly warm here (around 23 but really humid).

The B&B I stayed in was full of people transitioning or changing their lives - or at least those were the ones I met. Everyone I chatted to was optimistic, full of enthusiasm for the day and all genuinely interested in each others success. I met a woman from NY who has spent years in marketing/sales/advertising and has come to SC to see if she wants to stay. Like me she has been on the move for several months and also doesn't want to go back to her corporate life. It's very inspiring to meet other people who have also stepped outside their comfort zone to discover new things. Even as people told their stories no one needed nor wanted to dwell on anything other that the optimism of their choices..........there's a book in there! Everyone was very enthusiastic about my book and I am going to start a data base of people (okay so I have two names) and invite them on the journey with me.........hopefully they will also want to read the book. I think too I will start a separate blog that is simply about the book.

The other big marker of the day is that we have sold all the houses. I have such a sense of relief. Managing things from afar and having to ask friends/family to do most of the leg work for me isn't ideal. Still I can't believe how my life has changed in the last 9 months and that I have arrived at this point; full of hope, optimism, excitment and possibility.

Reflections

It’s a strange world to be living in two places. Daily I am here, in SC, enjoying all the things it brings to me. Everything about being here is entirely manageable. I can walk the town – I like that – it is near the sea – I like that a lot – it is full of creative, eccentric, odd and genuinely engaging people – I remind myself to be present. Then I inhabit another world, the past. As I write I am thrown back in time. I am trying to capture not only the facts but the feeling - to convey something meaningful. I like writing. It has surprised me how much I like it. I am also surprisingly fearless in the things I say. I name people, some will be unhappy with how I describe my experience of them…….but it’s my experience. Some will disagree with how I remember things. Some will agree. But I don’t care – I’ve reached a point where I really don’t care. It is my story, as I would have it told. It’s not angry, mad, sad or bad. At least I don’t think it is – my “ghost editor” will keep me honest. When it is timely she will tell me if what I think I am doing is what I am actually doing.
What I think (and hope) is that it is genuinely interesting and thought provoking. At best it’s a good yarn, at better than best women who have served will read it and parts will resonate – that’s what I really care about – anything else is background. I have a single-minded determination to have this book published. I have only just realised that no other NZ women soldier (sailor nor air force personnel) has ever written their story. Why not?

Of first nights and wine flights

I have had the most amazingly wonderful week. The B&B, minus breakfast but with a kitchen we can cook in, is every bit as beautiful as promised. Lovely lovely lovely. I have really enjoyed cooking for myself again and the luxury of it all.
To celebrate just being here Michelle and I went to a local wine bar on my first night. They have this thing called a “wine flight” – we ended up drinking three glasses of the most amazingly surprisingly lovely wine from Slovenia and eating some very lovely snackeriles. It’s the most indulgent I’ve been since leaving el rancho – which was mostly indulgent.
Post that I’ve been looking for a place to live. I went and looked at the most lovely room – had everything I thought I wanted etc etc etc (with flatties – two guys). Then unexpectedly another place came up and I went to this cottage behind an old villa.- guy in front (landlord) just collects stuff……….I mean stuff………. it’s like Stepto and Son. But met this fab woman who is doing her masters at the University of SC (fine arts, digital media, I think she also does creative writing), has a ginger cat called Goldfish and it all just feels right. The room is much smaller than the first one I looked at, not glamorous, got a bed and a desk and some draws (really it matters in that order), no TV but wireless (Telecom should be shot) and cheap as chips in the scheme of things……….are we seeing a theme? I think it will be a very happy place to live so I’ve agreed to move in on Tuesday when my time at the B&B ends.
Michelle is also about 2 seconds from handing in her dissertation (after 8 years as a doctoral student it looks to me like the most torturous thing in the world to actually complete the writing process!). Given my own personal obsession and admiration for anyone that works hard and is focused on there dreams it’s a wonderful privilege to be here. In a bit of mutual support I walk over to Michelle’s every day (1 hour each way, although it will only be 20mins from the new place) we each work in our own worlds for a minimum of 4 hours. Of course the pay off for me is that it get to see more of her, hear about what she is writing and share some of my writing ideas too. And of course we just get to chat at the end. Sometimes I write the book sometimes I don’t. It works. I am liking being in SC and it just seems to keep going “do the right thing the right thing happens”.

New beginnings - Chapter 4

Head off to Santa Cruz tomorrow - yay I am ready to go. As was pointed out to me Cable Court Hotel is one of those "tipping points". I've watched people come, go and stay. Apart from some of the long standing tenants (upwards of 10 years) this is a staging point for people. Some people arrive with no plan whatsoever and arn't even sure if they can pay the next weeks rent. It's the oddest thing when I think about what it must be like to find yourself "homeless" and arriving here, with no idea what happens next and no visible means of support. Some people, like me I guess, are clearly moving on to something - even if we don't know what it is. Last night I spoke to a guy from Romania who has arrived here with his wife, having won his greencard in the lottery. They've only been here three weeks so haven't got their greencard yet and yes, are about as nervous about it as I was - it's not really real until the card actually arrives. We had a nice chat about NZ and Romania and the weirdness of the US. They are looking for accommodation but not finding it easy. He was worried about his english not being very good - I thought it was very good myself but it's definitely tougher if english is your second language. The whole immigration thing is big here - although San Fran calls itself a "sanctuary city" and refuses to allow it's officials to co-operate with the immigration service in raiding neighbourhoods, which they have started doing. It's an ugly situation as you have parents who are illegals but their children are US citizens - can't see any sign that there's anything like a descent policy approach emerging - in some cases the parents are gone and the kids end up with family or friends!
On the housing front I'm going to meet with some people on Wednesday who have a room for subletting for eight months starting 1 June. They sound like very cool people (well based on the email exchange). Older and, I think, at least two of them are European, not sure about the third. What makes it nice is the room I am looking at has a bathroom attached - I like that. We'll see and I guess I'll have to go through the dreaded "are you queer friendly" conversation - some of the ads for people actually say it out right. I'd be surprised if they're not but if it doesn't become obvious I guess I'll have to ask.........

ANZAC Day and writing books

No dawn service for me this year so I hunted around to see if there was anything happening in SF for ANZAC Day. Yup, about 2 minutes up the road at Grace Cathedral. It was lovely. There were around 150/200 people there. Mostly Aussies and Kiwis but some Americans too. They even had poppies to give away. Real highlight had to be the Australian Girls Choir singing the NZ National Athem in english and Maori! We also sang the American National Athem - which is a first for me and had a bugler do the Last Post. It was very strange to be surrounded by NZ/Aussie accents.

I'm not a big church goer (ie never go.......except as a tourist) but Grace Cathedral is a SF icon. People of all backgrounds are welcome and they conduct same-sex "unions" (best not use the M word). It also has an AIDs interfaith chapel that includes an alterpiece created by Keith Haring weeks before he died of AIDs. It's also where I walked the Labyrinth. Which, to be honest, I didn't know much about until I picked up the flyer inside the church. Very interesting history and the Cathedral has a project focused on introducing people to the philosophies behind the labyrinth.
More chirpy news - 3 publishers have come back and said they are interested in the book! I so forgot how small NZ is as I hadn't expected to get responses from my email so quickly. At least 2 are interested in seeing a manuscript.....now. A tad early but one is happy to see a sample chapter sooner rather than later. Wow - I'm taking it as a sign that as I start to do the right things the right things start to happen. Now I just need a place to live and some form of income (I have some ideas for that........not including wearing a suit).

I leave here for Santa Cruz on the 30th. I have indulged a bit and booked myself into a lovely little B&B for my first week. It's very very self indulgent and does mean I really do need to focus on getting a sublet for the summer. I haven't been spending much money in SF (doing all the free stuff) so this is my reward. I have a wonderful sense of new beginnings.

Cruz'n

End of the month and I am off to sunny Santa Cruz. Just back from a weekend with Michelle, seeing the Cowboy Junkies and doing "inside Santa Cruz". Sealed the deal really. It's a vibrant friendly little town. A mixture of old hippie, laid back muso and activist students. It has a real sense of creativity about it. Job opportunities vary. I am heading into summer so there a quite a few cheap sublets around for rent. Anyway I am wildly excited about the whole thing and the hotel I am in have agreed I can go at the end of the month (usually give 30 days notice) so it all falls into place. Michelle's also very kindly offered to come pick me up in a car so I don't have to go via Greyhound bus...........now that's a bonus. It's only 2.5hrs by bus and $13 but I have a few bags - this makes it all much easier. Am wildly excited by the whole thing. Michelle is around until mid June, and deeply emersed in finishing her Phd so although I will only get to see her occassionally it does mean I will have settled before she heads back to NZ.

Book writing is going well - I think. I have one chapter, the bones of another and am working through the introduction. It was obviously meant to be as the words just flow. Some days I think it's rubbish other days I like it. I am about to send out my first round of letters to publishers too. I am trying to get ahead with the writing so that if (ha!) they actually want to see a sample chapter, I have one.

I think we've all but finished selling houses (one to go unconditional) - should all be over within the next two months. It is, finally, starting to feel all very tidy and clean. Selling things off (including a lot of my personal belongings) has created this lovely empty space for me to do other things. In case any of you do wonder - I do feel very previlleged to be here right now and to have the space to pursue something entirely new. Could it be that I am actually about to give up Corporate life?..................well more importantly it appears I have!

Burning down the house

Not quite, but last night was very exciting as we had a fire alarm. Went off at around 9pm so not as bad as it could have been. Fortunately I am on the ground floor - about ten steps from the front door. Interesting to realise your life amounts to making sure you are dressed, grabbing your laptop, official documents, cellphone and wallet. People were pretty frecked out and I'm not convinced everyone left the buildings. Still fire engines arrived complete with two female firefighters! Cool! Nothing came of it.

I am reading this book. I haven't finished it yet but it is very interesting. It's the memoir of the Commanding General of Abu Ghraib. I came to the book with my own set of prejudices. As I read her story, as she tells it, I have tremendous admiration for her. While she demonstrated a failure of leadership – her soldiers staffed the prison but overall responsibility for the prison rested with the intelligence people – I don’t believe she either fostered, encouraged nor ever believed any of her soldiers would behave like this.
She was, in reality, responsible for setting up an entire prison system through Southern Iraq. A logistical nightmare and resulting in her being spread very thin with few resources. Early on she also had concerns about having military police personnel become prison wardens, recognising they didn’t have the skills. Still she was an A-typical soldier, committed to the mission and potentially not vocal enough about the real risks in the way the whole system was being set up.

She is mightily guilty of working hard on the wrong things and being out of touch. That, in my view, is not nearly the same as actively fostering nor encouraging the abuses that occurred. Equally too she takes ownership of this and, in quite a frontal way, challenges the systemic and gendered politics that had her singled out early on. While others, who had more decision making power than her were not. That may seem trite but she explains how she heard about the photographs and how her immediate boss behaved………..these are not things the media readily report but her dialogue is very compelling and at no point does she say she doesn’t have some accountability in the whole episode………….what she does introduce is an interesting and slightly reluctant view that gender played a huge part in how the system chose to manage her situation.
Things that never came out about Janis Karpinski are that she was a pioneer throughout her career including setting up and spending five years training women to work as part of the United Arab Emerites Armed Services. She was very much a believer in the system, although always recognised that being a women in the armed services made her different and experienced all the attendant abuses, both physical and emotional.
Nothing excuses what happened but I have always felt deeply disturbed that so few in the command structure were held accountable and I remain disturbed – Kaprinski’s paid the price but there is much more to this story yet to be told.
She does offer some candid insights into her entire 25 year military career as well – I am finding the style of the book (it has been written by a journalist, using her voice) very readable.

Rambling

In the interests of getting some real exercise and fresh air I decided to head off on my Golden Gate Park adventure, which the first time had lead me to the Presidio. GGP is closer to our idea of the gardens. All up it was 5 hours and about a 6mile or 10km round trip. I am always loathe to get on public transport and, to date, haven’t – I blame my mother and our trip to Vancouver! The gardens were lovely although not at all what I expected. They had all the usual things – ramshackle walk through the bush, coupled with a series of themed gardens (including NZ, which I didn’t wander into – I figured it wasn’t the best use of time as I kind’ve knew how that would look). Really the thing that struck me – the none gardener – was how NZ public gardens (and those we encountered in Canada) are really rather British.
Bay area residents are mightily proud of their gardens and they should be. The GGP is full of many lovely open spaces and rambling walks. I think perhaps though I have been unduly influenced, both by Wellingtons public gardens and Flis (who continues to be a talisman of what creating a dream garden could be). This has led me to a vision of gardens that consist of a series of “rooms”, boxed hedging and raised beds…………very Vita and Violet. It was just one of those cultural moments. Lovely in itself and wildly worth celebrating for the share difference of it all. Oh and I am such a cheap-ass too. It was a mere 5 bucks to get into the Japanese garden but I can go for free, three days a week, as long as I get there before 10am so kept my cash in my pocket.
I have been researching how to get my book published (like I have written it yet), started writing and devised, what I hope will be, a clever plan to get all the info I need out of the archived boxes I have stored in NZ. At one level I feel like I am spinning my wheels but then have a tremendous sense that patients, combined with commitment, will take me where I need to go……..in fact historically that always happens – when it suits the past can be a fine measure for the future!
Next weekend I go back to Santa Cruz to go to the Cowboy Junkies concert with Michelle. In my mind I have a vision of SC and it will be interesting to head back with a view to “this is about to become my home”. I’ve started looking at places to live. The University breaks for the summer soon so I am already seeing a whole lot of places looking to sublet – complete with furniture.
The singular best thing K & B have taught me about life in the US is if you are going to spend money on anything research, research, research. It is a lesson well learnt and now I have the benefit of Michelle’s local knowledge - I hope I end up somewhere nice and that has a dog.

Da new plan

I've been in the states for 7 months - 5/6 months of which were spent in a wonderfully supportive environment that allowed me to recover from the past, with not much thought for the future. It seems the future is here and, to be honest, I've spent the last 4 weeks applying for jobs I don't want and........not getting them. I've always yakked on that if something isn't coming together for you then it's because you are doing the wrong something. So, in the interests of walking the talk, I've decided to stop applying for jobs I don't want and write a book on my experiences of Bosnia. It's been a long time coming and I can't think of another time in my life when I will have this much freedom.
While I could aspire to be the global comms manager for some large corp (and may have in the past) - it seems a little tedious and, well, not what I want to do. I do still have some "live" job applications out there but feel a singlemindedness about this.
I guess it's serendipitous that I find myself in the US with Michelle, who has always been a champion of my writing "the book" (along with a few others out there) and brings me full circle in my world.
It's all not quite as random as it sounds. I have a plan - I always have a plan. First I need to leave San Fran and go find somewhere cheaper to live. I am not coming back to NZ as I honestly believe I belong here and this is where I want to be. Honestly too the cost of living in NZ is not unlike here - only with fewer choices. I have a greencard so can work anywhere.
I've looked around a bit and have arrived back in California at Santa Cruz. There's a university, climates great, it's cute, not far from San Fran and jobs. I will get some kind of job. Something interesting, I hope, but not overly taxing.
I've also been researching how you actually go about getting a book published. It's all very possible and no more or less daunting than anything else I've done! That's my story and I am sticking to it.
Questions anyone?

Vote Different

If you haven't seen this you should! Caused quite alot of controversy here. Particularly as Obama denied it was from his camp then it turns out one of the guys who works for the PR agency that works for Obama did it in his own time........he's just lost his job - doesn't pay to let presidential candidates flattly deny any link and then be the link! Oh and I would appreciate a quiet round of applause because I figured out how to post this into my blog............

Quality of life crimes

Someone described San Fran to me as "unlike any other city in the US" - actually every city you go to someone will describe it like that. They were, however, referring to how liberal San Fran is compared to the rest of the US (yep - plenty of evidence for that!). Something I have noticed is how accessible information is about the work of local government and how much this is discussed in local forums. While the locals do moan that they don't get much info they have several local TV channels dedicated to "The Bay Area". There are regular talk fests on the latest decisions/plans being proposed and emerging community issues. They also have "Town Hall" meetings where local representatives front up to communities on the issues of moment - somewhat more challenging than opening your electorate office door one day a week!
Recently the mayor (Gavin Newsom - who's had his own little public nightmare going on) has come up with a proposal to introduce a "people's court" (not Judge Judy) to deal with crimes against quality of life ie urinating in the street, sleeping in doorways, graffiti etc etc. It's based on the NYC model where, rather than have people (read mostly homeless), thrown into the state justice system where nothing changes, you put them through a community system where they have to complete some form of restitution eg graffiti artists have to clean up graffiti. Concurrent with that offenders get "proactively" offered the services of the social system as well to try and turn their lives around and get the help they need (which doesn't mean all of them want help BTW). It's not really a new idea but it's been interesting to watch the debate. Of course it will only be as good as being able to resource the whole thing. It's ambitious and far from decided but they are even going so far as to say they want the "court" to be located in the communities of real concern so that people start to take ownership from within. I guess it worked in NYC, although it's not clear to me if the homeless actually did (in large numbers) move off the street or just move - I think the latter myself. Unlike NYC there are, however, plenty of activitist groups with the numbers to keep the city honest or at least stage a protest to remind the city when it's being less than honest! Anyway many holes to be blown in this thesis but fascinating none the less and it is always easier to be on the outside looking in.
One campaign I found refreshing is inviting people to politely say "no, not today" when a homeless person asks for money. Reminding people that the homeless are people too. Mostly where I am the homeless are very polite. One guy now just says "hi how are you today" to me, as I have never given him money and I guess we have both reached the point of being "locals" - I did tell you it was like Cuba Street didn't I?
Have had a somewhat dull week - not sure why..........except I do need to start to get out more and meet people. In the absense of a job I've felt a bit held back. I have met someone (other than Leslie) who has a network of single friends who just go out and try to meet new people, she has offered to introduce me to them so I do need to follow up on that (this was a while back)............Yes I know "shutup and get on with it".
I am heading back to Santa Cruz in a few weekends to go to a concert with Michelle so that's another little outing too. This time I will take some photos of the area - it is beautiful and hopefully the weather will be fine.

Home sweet home

Ha - I have a place to live.........for now. Hotel has just confirmed that I have been approved as a tenant. Yayayayay - I really don't want to move yet and this works fine for now. Been out and scouted a "hot plate" so I can cook something other than microwave food in my room. Also just down the road is a "You say Tomato" store which has "british" food. Went in for the first time today and what it means is Rose's lime juice, marmite, cadbury chocolate, pies (they don't really do pies here) etc etc etc. Bought a flake just for the hell of it. Oh there is also a "Psychic Studio" across the road which, if I get wildly bored, I may just wander into.
It's been raining today (first time since I arrived) and it was kind of nice to wander around a bit in the rain.
On the funny side - we only get wireless in the foyer/lounge and there is a hardcore group of 6 or so of us who are regularly online (some people have their own but I like the sense that it is "free"). I think we are all the people looking for work and/or at least one guy trying to run some kind of sales business - regularly get to hear him on the telephone coaching his sales team (no idea what they are trying to sell but does confirm I don't want to be in sales). Anyway last night I was informed that I must be "the girl with the funny accent" who is one of the dozen or so always sitting on our computers. The guy then proceeded to describe everyone else (he is waiting for his laptop to arrive and feeling somewhat deprived I think). As a group we don't actually speak to one another - beyond casual nods - very "internet cafe", without the coffee.

Old friends & good times

Back from my lovely weekend with Michelle. It was wonderful to see her and be with someone who simply knows who I am (and who I know so well). M drove up from Santa Cruz (takes about 2.5/3hrs) and, once we got out of San Fran we meandered down the coast to SC. It was a bit misty at first so not much view (although lots of laughing). When the mist passed it became very aparent the coast line is alot like NZ. White sand, big cliffs and lots and lots of surfing beaches. SC itself is surfer central.........older surfers rather than all the young guns from what I saw. It really is a very lovely little town. Nice mix of student life (although somewhat more upmarket), holiday destination and laid back beach lovers. M's campus in actually set in a wooded area - it was an old ranch that was gifted to the government and they have built all the campus buildings around the trees. Really very lovely and very Michelle. It was nice to see where she has spent the last 6 years.
There is also a boardwalk area down by the water front. We sat out on the pier at a lovely restaurant eating and watching seals and birds at play. The Boardwalk has a fun park on it that you wander through - alot like Brighton (England) for those that have been. We did go on an old original wooden roller coaster and play some shooty games in the arcade. Weather was lovely and it was great to just watch people.
Saturday night we went out to a bar (mostly queer) - I'd kinda forgotten what it was like - same dynamics, different country. All shapes, sizes and attitudes la la - enjoyed chatting with M most of all.
I caught the bus back to San Fran on Sunday night and was happy to be back in my little room having enjoyed the weekend, the laughter, food, wine and the adventure! Oh and it did also mean that I passed through a couple of towns where I have been looking for work.
Still job hunting, applied for lots - you'll know when I know.

Exhibition

Here is a fab little exhibition I "stumbled" across when I thought I was going to the Golden Gate Bridge Park, but was actually going to Presidio Park!

During WWII (yes it had to involve the war) Chaplain Frederick McDonald collected shards of broken stained glass windows throughout Europe. A group of artists have now made twenty five "windows" and works of art that memoralize the places the glass was found. Some of the work is fantastic and all of it has words engraved somewhere on the art work - often describing peoples impressions of the war. I was well impressed by the whole thing.

Presidio Park itself is interesting too. Originally it was where the native Ohlone people lived. No surprises, the Ohlone people were ousted ..... by the spanish, then it fell under Mexican rule until the US Army took it over in 1846, making it into a military post. It's all now part of the Golden Gate National Recreation Area and still has some of the original buildings on it, including barracks and officers mess. When I was there a marching team was practicing on the "parade ground" - which is now a car park - which did bring a slight cringe (girl outta the military but not the military outta the girl!). Presidio also has the San Francisco National War cemetary, softball fields, play grounds and walking tracks. Getting there involved walking through very upmarket San Fran - the price of cafe coffee and food, of course, went up progressively as I drifted further from my humble lodgings into the more salubrious neighbourhoods. Still I did feel prompted to pick up a pamphlet about becoming a "parks volunteer" - yes I do need to get a day job!

Random strangers

So in the interests of not spending all my time alone I have now taken to spending days with random strangers. Okay not quite but I did spend a pleasant afternoon down on Fisherman's Wharf and clothes shopping..........no not me her..........with an undergrad student from Tennassee who moved into the room across from me. She's only here for a week and we struck up a conversation so I invited her on a walking adventure. It was fun and a little "outside the box". Given we walked for about 6 hours (noting she is not actually a great lover of walking!) I am feeling very fit and was more than up for it. No ranch hand opportunities so I have to keep fit somehow.
Found my mystery caller too! Had a lovely chat with Michelle who is very kindly going to pick me up in a few weekends time and take me on a little adventure to Santa Cruz. That will be fab as I haven't been there before and haven't seen Michelle since well before I left NZ.
Started applying for a range of jobs - too early to know if by resume gets me past the first step. If it doesn't, back to the writer we go and she gets to have another go.
K&B are now in NZ and, despite only having a 45min window, did manage to make their connection in San Fran - so did get to speak to them but didn't see them. Funny to think I am now the one on the otherside of the world and all the family is in NZ. Of course I don't feel entirely alone as I do know everyone at the Ranch, at least one other person in San Fran (other than the hotel manager of course) and Michelle. And I've got two other "contacts" I have yet to call.
Best find of the week- fab Vietnamese restaurant that gives the biggest bowls of noodle soup (a personal favourite) for 7 bucks.....I think I am about to become a regular!

Went on a little walking adventure the other day. Walked around the labryinth at the Cathedral and have thrown in some other photos just for fun. Hung out in the park reading my book and then wandered around some other bookshops. The weather over the weekend is supposed to be fantastic so I am planning a little picnic at the Golden Gate Bridge park, down by the water. I've never wandered into there before so I hope the weather is fine.

Have started negotiating taking on a monthly lease at the hotel- given I have no job and no credit history in the US I need to convince them I am a likeable character who can/will pay the rent. I am forever optimistic that it will all be okay and, having looked around a little, in the absense of a job this is still the best option. There are, of course, far more glamorous options but who knows where I will end up. I've even been toying with possibly rooming with someone else when the time comes - not sure about that but Craigslist.com gives me a good idea of what's out there. These are the little things I obsess about!

Another plus, looks like Houghton Bay has sold. Settlement in May so it ain't over until settlement day but there's no reason why it shouldn't all go through. Funny when I left NZ I wasn't at all ready to "own nothing" but, at some point, I realised that part of actually leaving is all about letting things go and that, all going well, I am most likely to end up "owning something" here. If nothing else I can and do dream big!!!

It's the little things

I have upgraded my room. It is now twice the size and newly refurbished, large wardrobe (closet here), draws, shower and toilet that actually has a door between me and my "lounge". TV too - basic cable. Have forsaken the kitchenette (got a microwave and fridge) as I have now explored the local area. Turns out I am living in the equivalent of "Cuba Street". Very eclectic mix of eateries (cheapas) so I can afford to eat a meal out and snacks in. Nice, very bohemian cafe across the road too (got bagels - yum). Went off and got one plate, one wine glass (of course), one cup and a knife and fork. It's a little like being a student again only I have a very stylish wardrobe (no place to wear anything of course) and I am neither studying or working.
Just so you get a sense of the hotel - I don't have a telephone in my room but have got a cell phone (email if you want the number). I can't call outside the US on it (which will, at some point, change). The infamous "someone called" but Bill (the very nice live in hotel manager) couldn't remember who............so my apologies if you think I am ignoring you.
It's really hot here today and everyone is getting around in tee shirts. Today it is a very nice day to be me!

Hello San Fran

The funny thing about blogs is that they prompt you to feel like you need to say something.....quite often. Those that know me best know that I am not wildly good at "sharing" unless I am constantly jabbed in the ribs ie nagged to death, or suddenly feel/realise that I really should share as people might actually like to know what is going on and "sharing" is a good thing (it's a personal kwirk and not something I do consciously, I just forget that I haven't shared.......except when I know I am not sharing). So, in the interests of "sharing" - I have landed in San Fran, it has been a little culture shock (although not insurmountable) and 3 days in I am a little less shocked than I was on day 1. I have, after all, lived a very sheltered life for the past 5 months - thank you K&B.......who don't live a sheltered life but have patiently waited for me to emerge from my personal cave.
I am now living in the worlds smallest room (albeit with kitchenette that has no actual kitchen equipment). Tomorrow I will ask to be "up graded" and possibly take on a one month lease as, in the end, the place is as cheapas and I am unemployed. That all sounds quite easy, but we shall see and I do, of course, have a backup plan.
I appear to be in a safe area, other tenants appear sane, drug free and able to smile and be pleasant - this is San Fran on the cheap so these things are not to be under estimated. There really is the most fab supermarket down the road (Wholefoods, a fav of K&Bs) and even closer a slightly less glamorous one that I really should shop at, and have..........although sometimes you just want quality over quantity.........for a price.
Yesterday I went to the Chinese New Year Parade and watched all the floats - chatting casually with the people next to me. San Fran folks are mighty friendly and strike up a conversation at the drop of a hat - look a little confused and someone comes up and asks if they can help (this all before 7pm, later in the night I just can't say).
Took a breath - got over my shy self - and called Karen and Eve's friend Leslie (random friend-of-friend moment 1). She was simply fab. Came and picked me up and we went for coffee and a walk in the Castro district (queer capital of San Fran). She was very funny and I laughed alot. All in all a very pleasant "outing"...........it's been a while.
Yes I have started to apply for work. A combination of "cold calls" (really challenging my shy self) and actual jobs. Time will tell. Oh they are not all in San Fran, but so far all in California.
Sometimes I wonder what the hell I am doing and then I realise that I am doing what I always said I wanted to do - that makes me feel much better for some odd reason that has nothing to do with the logic!
So I have"arrived" in chapter 2 - "entering the truely unknown" (no familial top cover at hand), safe as one can be living in the US and downtownish San Fran, actually committed to getting a job (with good pay and benefits of course) and getting a social life (although not my primary focus........job job job).

Meet the gang

Yes I am now in San Fran - more about that next post. Had a very lovely farewell from the Ranch with staff and their families. Enjoyed a very yummy meal and lots of gift giving.
From left is Brice, Eddie (the cowboy), Mono (all things mechnical), Mike (builder of many things), Wendy(horse girl - stables - and bunkhouse keeper), Karen, Kate (lodge and greenhouse keeper), Peter (senior ranch hand - making that up of course), me (wearing cowgirl boots that you can't see in the picture), Renee (mainhouse keeper.....although calls herself housemaid - I did try to convince her that it's all in the "branding"). Of course everyone seems to do something of everyone elses job at one time or another - well not strictly true, to the best of my knowledge none of the boys have actually physically cleaned the mainhouse (except Brice, of course, who occassionally gets pulled into the mix). Anyway I will miss them all and felt very much a part of ranch life by the time I left.
Have left behind my very lovely "yellow house" and landed in a very tiny room in downtown San Fran - life's a journey and I think I've just landed in "USA - Chapter II - San Francisco".

On the countdown

Four days to go and I'm back in the big city, staying here . Not flash but very central. Got my new resume too - very fine! Now I just have to see if it gets me an interview.
K & I have spent the last two weekends clothes shopping. It's been riotously funny, especially when I start to point out that the outfit doesn't work! It's been great fun and K is now "adjusting" clothes and generally making everything a perfect fit. Typically too we are in a shop in Albuquerque only to find one of the staff is from NZ, recently returned to the US from Christchurch (having lived overseas for years her and her husband decided to go back to NZ but after 5 years headed back here).
The one thing I haven't done is get my drivers license - stupid but bad weather and laziness combined so that, at some point, I'll have to do it in California - New Mexico would have been so much easier I feel. Oh well can't help but create some tension in life.
We are having a staff and family get together combining my farewell with two of the staffs birthdays. I really will miss them all but expect I will visit at various times!
Not much else to add at this point - snow continues to melt, calves are being born, dogs still need walking and I've almost finished painting the greenhouse (with some much welcome help from Renee and Kate).

Farewell el rancho

The plan! I am heading to San Fran on 1 March. At this stage I am going to stay in a hotel for a month on a monthly rental. It's right in the centre of San Fran so very convenient. I'll then look for a permanent rental/lease and work. K & B head to NZ on the 6th so it all works well.
Karen and Eve have put me in touch with a friend of theirs in San Fran who I have swapped a couple of emails with. She is very warm and welcoming so that's a nice start to meeting new people. I've also got a couple of other people to catch up with (or meet for the first time), including Michelle who is back in Santa Cruz - ain't life funny!
I will really miss the ranch. I've been here 5 months and feel very much a part of the community. Everyone has been fab to me and I've enjoyed playing ranch hand. We finished painting the bunkhouse last week and my final task is to paint the inside of the glasshouse (before you ask........no not the glass, the work area) and that's all set up to go next week. I've had some lovely times working with the staff at various times and also had some very wise counsel on life. K & B have been fantastically supportive and it's been lovely to spend some quality time with them, see their lives and have them generally ease me into life in the USA.
Today K is taking me on a big shopping spree. Yes I have steeled myself to spend a whole day buying a new wardrobe. Next week I get a new haircut too.
Since being here I've lost over 8lbs (bragging of course), grown my hair, got my sense of humour back and feel ready to step back into the big world - my goal is to keep fit, keep the weight off and generally launch myself into whatever happens next! I guess somewhere in there I will have to get a job (I am looking forward to that too as I would quite like to find a role that involves some more travel - want it all as always).
Houghton Bay goes on the market this week and I am talking to the real estate agent about the Dunedin properties so, all going well, that side of life will be wound up in the next two months. Having the cash in the bank will open up a whole new set of choices and I am already thinking about that........

Of CVs and resumes

Okay okay I have accepted I do need to get a job! I've also accepted that, despite my best efforts, my CV ain't nothing like what's required to get past base one in the US of A. My work experience is fine, the way I present it isn't. Oh and CVs here are resumes................nobody knows what a CV is. So I've invested in getting by resume professionally written (this is a booming business here, complete with associated qualifications and annual award ceremonies). Did some research and chose one of the big players - they actually guarantee you will get interviews within 4 to 6 weeks of using your re.written resume (now that's a powerful promise!). So I've completed my initial free review (by telephone with someone in New York) then signed on to the full monty - complete with 8 page questionnaire, facts and figures abound and, in two weeks, I get a winning resume (written by someone in Texas) - or I better or I will be grumpy. We shall see.
On a different note, Houghton Bay goes on the market this month and will, all things going nicely, be sold early March. HB really was my best attempt at participating in "home making" (a long way from the Brown House for those in the know). Now I hunger for more simplicity - okay a semi-furnished studio apartment, preferably with a gym somewhere and no need to buy a whole bunch of stuff I don't know what to do with anyway. K has promised to provide some interior design assistance - I think in the interests of ensuring that I don't actually end up in something resembling the Brown House. On the upside, this is all very possible as I have been able to check out some places on the net......on the downside - hmmm there isn't one at this point. All contingent on finding a job of course.
Still a heap of snow on the ground, still painting the bunkhouse and still working towards going to San Fran (patience patience as we will the stars to align - or something equally cosmic).

Presidential candidates and more snow

The obsession with the next Presidential election has begun in earnst. Hillary Clinton has finally declared her intention to run. It's a strange process, potential nominees declare there intention to explore the possibility of running! It all involves big bucks and lots and lots of politiking so it will be interesting to watch from inside the border.
This guys also thrown his hat in. He comes across quite well but does seem very young, hasn't been in the Senate long - very very different from Clinton too! People either love her or hate her, no middle ground according to polls.
I don't think the Republicans have come up with anyone yet. The Democrats have a couple of other nominees in the running too so I think they are just trying to freak the Republicans out by bombarding them with "possibles", while the Republicans are struggling to come up with anyone credible.
We've just had another dump of snow too - B&K tell me this is the biggest snow New Mexico has seen in 50 years (love being around when records are set!). It is freaking everyone out though as not everyone in the State is geared up to handle this (including some of the towns that only have one snow plow, that they've never used and don't really have a plan for managing this much snow). Nice from where I sit though.
I am still aiming for San Fran, just have to get a few things organised, meanwhile I am painting the inside of the bunkhouse with Wendy, who manages the stables and the bunkhouse amoung other things. It's a big job I have to say!
Nothing much to report. The second episode of the L-Word was marginally better than the first but not really capturing me yet. New characters have started to arrive but too soon to know if that will work........they haven't really reestablished the old characters yet (see I am not shy I could be a TV reviewer - okay maybe not, too subjective.......).

L-Word Update

As promised............hmmmm so far no new characters introduced and mostly checking in with existing characters - one surprise character revisits tho! Can't help but think that my initial luke warm reaction reflects my own jadedness with "lesbians behaving badly" - I guess without the drama there would be no story (still we have lost our only "happy couple" so someone somewhere needs to develop some kind of half way healthy relationship just, because, well that would be kinda nice to see!). Will wait and see what next week brings - oh and Jenny is still an angsty/whingy pain, I can't quite forgive Tina "her man thing", what the hell is Max all about?, surprise surprise Helena is finely looking like someone you might actually want to have a relationship with, Alice is transformed from slightly psycho wacko (albeit it funny) into slightlytless psycho wacko and noticing other people have problems too, Shane is/remains a train wreck happening before our eyes and Bette needs a slap (virtually of course 'cos we don't do violence) - no sign of Carmen....yet (she may come back with a machine gun - but I don't think we have quite reached "Kill Bill").

Random update

A week can be a long time. We got a second and much bigger dump of snow last week so I spent two days solid shovelling snow. Firstly off the roof of the Adobe (General Store) with Renee and K. Roof leaks so we had to shift it all. Then a second day shovelling snow off one of the decks at the main house (so it doesn't leak.......). Upside was I was actually physically able to do it - not so sure I could have achieved such a feat when I first arrived.
Best missed photo opp had to be when I was out walking the dogs in the snow. Luckie and Duke startled a jack rabbit from under a tree, which then promptly lept over the wall of snow onto the road where Khan and I were standing. I kid you not the jacket rabbit, mid flight and about to land on Khan used its back legs to bounce off her head and sprint off down the road......followed by three equally startled dogs, with Khan in the lead. All happened about two feet from me and was really a "national geographic" moment.
Nancy Pelosi was sworn in as the first female Speaker of the House and gave quite an impressive performance - particularly inviting all the children in attendance to come up and touch the speakers gavel (quite a sweet moment but I get the feeling she's no soft ass!).
Ongoing controversy re.Iraq as Bush's answer seems to be send more troops (20,000 infact) and spend more money - Democrats not impressed and, honestly, where will they get 20,000 troops from? Watching the politics unfold from within the US is fascinating. It never is out of the news and everyday they give an update on the number of US soldiers killed. Given New Mexical is the poorest state in the country alot of the troops hail from here (nice little recruiting initiative) and/or other poor communities. Alot of the cars have ribbons on them with the names of family members serving - startling and a little scary how many there are.
On a different note (and for an artistic giggle) check out the odd spot link on the right hand side - there is some amazing/odd/stylish and very creative stuff featured.
One for the girls: the fourth season of the L-Word starts tonight (2 hr feature). Has had quite a build up here so will let you know how it rolls out..........

Snow bound

Well I did say I wanted snow.........we've now had around 3ft (I am so Americanised) in 24hrs. This has meant many things. Firstly an entertaining journey up from Ranch Central to K & Bs and yes, at least some digging out of vehicles. Spot the man........we ended up turning around and having to go via a different route. After a little more off roading and some outstanding driving from B we did get to our destination. At least we were on the Ranch!

Of course now we can't get back down the road to Ranch Central because Eddie hasn't been able to plow the road because you can't actually see the road or where you have plowed!
Staff at Ranch Central have called to say the yellow house is now avalanche central as the snow falls off the roof creating a lovely wall of snow around the whole house - I think I will have to dig my way back in.
The dogs are happier now that B has successfully been able to get the heaters working in the kennels (they live challenging and difficult lives). From left is Duke (Dukie), Khan (Khanie) and Luckie (sometimes called stupid or Lucky Luck depending on his behaviour!). Most nights (when it isn't snowing) we take them for a walk and, when K & B were in NY, I played Nanny. They each come with there own personality but are lovely characters. There are a couple of other dogs on the Ranch too so when it comes to the dog quota this is my form of paradise.
On the celebration front I had a very lovely birthday made up of good food and wine and generally having a very nice time with K & B. Lots of nice email messages too - thanks, all made me feel very special. Turning 40 appears not to be the crisis it could have been as, well, it feels not unlike being 39.......only living on the otherside of the world.
Xmas was a lovely day. Started the night before with bubbles and caviar - which is a ritual K&B have. Rolled into the next day to start with pancakes and then, later in the day, a very lovely Xmas dinner cooked by B, followed by a movie with cheese board. Random point of interest - this is actually my 3rd Xmas with K & B in the US. Holiday season is proving to be very pleasant indeed. Couple of the staff gave me presents too, which was a lovely unexpected surprise.
New Year is likely to be a quiet affair (you know food, wine, movies, dog walking in the snow). Can't say life is tough. I am making the most of it in advance of actually becoming a tax paying alien!
Happy New Year all.

Merry Xmas New Zealand

Here's a little Xmas cheer (thanks effe.........).
Been off to the movies and saw The Good Sheperd which is the story of how the CIA was created. Actually it's not really quite as dry as that sounds. It's really the personal story of one guy (Matt Damon) and his family (Angelina Jolie) and is directed by Robert De Niro. It's well over two hours long and intense so don't go if you're looking for a Xmas chuckle. Went and saw Cassino Royale as well - that's really good (does help if you are a fan of 007).
Had my first solo drive (shuffling cars to the airport for K&B returning from NY). Which was a little nerve wracking but no car or body parts were lost in the making of the story - there are some crazy drivers in this town and nobody but nobody lets you into any lane anywhere. B assures me that's not the case in NY and just seems to be how they do things around here.
Watched Eddie (resident cowboy), Renee (his wife and "house manager" for the main house - she calls herself housemaid but I don't think that quite captures it) and their daughter give injections to their calves. Bein' a city girl it was, well, quite a startling process (Greytown gals already laughing - I can hear you). They drive the calves down a channel, caputure them one at a time at the end by dropping one gate and closing the calves heads in another - all very quick and aggressive. Ears then get tattooed, shots given (vets did that) and then calves released to go to mama. Despite Eddies generous offer I declined to be part of the "herding the cattle" to the far end of the Ranch...........pointing out to him (as he well knows), putting me on a horse to take anything anywhere would most likely take a week and I couldn't guarantee we would have half the number of cattle we started with.
We are having Xmas dinner on the ranch - it will be a food extravaganza (my role is cheese board so I'm not feeling overly pressured). Then we are going to watch a DVD on the big screen. Simple and nice.
Snow is melting away but still plenty for the dogs to play in and enough to give the illusion of a white Xmas. For New Year we are thinking about having fireworks down at the rifle range and inviting staff and family - going to check out the local fireworks factory outlet (yep right here in Moriarty.....).
Oh not sure that I have explained but Stanley itself actually only consists of a post office. Before I leave I am going to take a photo as a reminder.
Random disturbing fact of the week - while shop lifting continues to be a problem for all retailers bookstores report that the single most stolen book is the bible!
Religious or not that whole idea kinda does your head in.

Birthday photos

Nope not of me but all that snow.....oh and it's taken me a few days 'cos I'm so busy and stressed (yeah right) that I forgot how to log into flickr (arrrrrrrrrgh). Anyway click on the flickr icon to see the snow.

Happy birthday to me

Today I turned 40 and the only thing I really really wanted was snow……and so it is. I love the messages I got and the presents – so don’t think the people (and the conversations) don’t matter. But last night I got to crunch though the snow. It was simple and lovely and quiet and just, well, really really lovely.
Oh and screw the date time group on the blog - in New Mexico it is 12.01 on the 20th of December...........and I have already enjoyed 24hrs of birthday in New Zealand.

Santa is coming

Wow time is flying by. It's been a busy few weeks. Thanks Giving is over and I managed to get two Thanks Giving Dinners. Shared a lunch with the staff and them, very kindly, Renee and Eddie (who live and work here) invited me to their Thanks Giving dinner. They live in the house across from me. It was fab with them, their kids, Renee's dad and brother, their friend and his son. Food was as you would expect - lots of it! Had traditional "bean casserole" - sounds awful (actually it doesn't look fab either) but tastes very fine.........no idea why bean casserole is a traditional Thanks Giving dish.
We've also had K's birthday which rolled into a two day affair with staff morning tea, evening nibbles and bubbles one day and then off to Santa Fa for dinner the following night. Cocktails in a trendy, very modern looking bar then off to a lovely little restaurant in a traditional adobe. There are many bonuses in staying with "ex chefs" who appreciate good food and wine!
B and I got the Xmas tree and K and I decorated it. I also spent a day or two helping put up Xmas lights around Ranch Central. Makes the place very festive at night and all the staff decorate their own homes as well.
Spent an interesting few hours with a job search agency who (for a price) put together a marketing plan to get you a job (career planning). Gave me some really good ideas but at the end of the day "the price wasn't right" and it seemed to me that it wasn't all it appeared to be........good process though.
Got my first birthday card to be informed I was now a B.I.T.C.H (Babe In Total Control of Herself) - made me chuckle alot (thanks - you know who you are!).
K&B are in New York celebrating their 20th wedding anniversary - personally I've decided to credit my relationship longevity using hours as a measure...............it's all in the spin.
Peter and I are now painting rooms in the bunkhouse (no no bunks...............).
Have started the process for getting myself to San Fran so, on balance, I'm certainly not bored.

It's snowing!!!!

Happy happy happy joy joy joy - it's snowing, well it was snowing now it's just a beautiful cold crisp day! Continueing to keep myself busy (been working in the "big house" helping clean etc etc). Have expanded my CV hugely - general ranch hand (painting, raking leaves) and house maid (dusting, vacuuming, scrubbing) - I have become very "general list" while here.
Also am most happy as I have actually started to get rejection emails for jobs (this is good as it means that people are actually receiving/reading my resume). Have also given myself a chat about making sure I actually apply for jobs I am qualified for rather than just any job.............well we all have our moments. Also discovered several new job sources so feeling very optimistic.

Don Brash

........is an embarassment to every long standing, dedicated public servant.

In the interests of not being too serious

Some things you might not know about me (I stole this whole idea from someone else’s blog)
- My first hero was Peter Pan
- When I dream I always make myself fly
- I know when I am unhappy in my life because I can’t fly
- My most favourite thing (okay a big favourite thing) is to take myself off with a newspaper early in the morning, drink coffee and eat bacon and eggs………alone
- I came second in the trampoline competition at the rural school I attended when I was 11, I never got over second ‘cos I knew why I didn’t get first
- My favourite musical is Les Miserable….full of heroes, guns and revolutionary spirit
- My biggest fear in life is to not have lived it to the fullest – the secret source of my regular “I am giving up corporate life”
- The book that probably influenced me the most in life was “The silver sword” – which is all about children surviving war and was read to me when I was 9
- The book that taught me it’s okay to be obsessive was “James the Policeman” - I was probably 8 when I read it (go find it if you dare)
- The biggest love of my life was………..nah, now you are just being nosey

Getting focused

It's been a busy few weeks. Still enjoying the great outdoors and working with Peter. Weather here is largely rain free, with clear crisp (and getting crisper) days. I am now getting pretty obsessed with finding work. If I don't get any traction soon I am going to re.locate to San Fran. Have gone off the East coast a bit having heard from some of K&Bs friends about the lifestyle. West coasters would seem to be way friendlier and much more easy going.
Figure I am more likely to get an interview if I am living in the city I apply for jobs in. I'll keep looking all over but have really started to focus on San Fran.
Having quite a blast from the past too as the Officer Cadet Class I was in had a class reunion (20yrs) last week. Got everyone's bios and it was amazing to see what people have been doing. Hope to get to see some photos too. Certainly made me reflect on how pivotal that year was in my life..............
Still having nice times with K&B and very grateful for all the support and advice they give (not to mention good food and wine). It's made the whole transition much easier and I feel very lucky to have family right here.
On a different note, best line yet from Peter: "Well what do you think, they going to toss a cheque into the casket, what goods that going to do you?". It wasn't in direct response to anything I had actually said but came on the end of one of his very well told stories - I should be taping them. This also from the man who is a model for how we should all plan for retirement.

More adventures

It's been a while. Momentarily I almost thought no one was reading this at all (not that I am sensitive or anything and think that everyone should be wildly interested in me......) but that was really just feeling a little "on the other side of the world". Now that I have had some affirming emails and generally got over myself I am back.
The ranch had a visit last week so I headed off to Santa Fe for a few days (in the interests of keeping a low profile in advance of Thanks Giving when I will, hopefully, get to meet the owner). Santa Fe was just lovely and I have included some pictures on my newly created Flickr site (if you click on the link on the right you can have a look).
At least three real points of interest:
a. Santa Fe boasts the oldest church and the oldest house in the USA
b. The first Amercian Indian to be sainted was a women from New Mexico.
c. Everyone is very very friendly and chats away......I think it's the accent.
Given I was by myself I got over sitting in restaurants alone and happily sat at the bar drinking Margaritas and chatting with the odd person. During the day I wandered the streets and, predicatably, got a bit lost as I wandered into the 'burbs. Didn't matter as there is so much building going on there were dozens of people to ask if I really couldn't figure how to get back to the area I was staying in!
I stayed in an historic hotel that was very close to the tourist area so generally felt safe wandering the streets at night. I was in, what appeared to be, the Rugby (maybe gridiron?) Room, as it had old rugby photos and the wardrobe featured two players. All and all a very pleasant few days where I got to wear my new cowgirl boots (which I love very much) and pondered buying a cowgirl hat. Decided all shopping for clothes could wait for a. K to be with me, she is the style queen and b. getting a job!
On a different note the election is over and Bush (while taking the brunt of criticism for the massive defeat) has been remarkably articulate and "collegial" about the whole thing. Maybe he just gets that his presidency is all but over and he is unlikely to get anything significant done between now and the presidential election. Next big question is who will run for president? Is America ready for a female president (Hillary Clinton) or a black American man? Or, quite possibly neither......

Elections USA style

Today is voting day in the US of A...............everyone will be, I think, relieved to have the electioneering end. The whole process has been remarkably scandal ridden with every second republican having some dirty secret revealed (corruption is hot, sexual impropriety rife and not much talk about the issues). Democrats look set to regain Congress and its fair to say that I am not surrounded by people who universally agree who should be in power and this isn't even a presidential election.
Iraq remains a hot topic and opinion is divided among voters over whether or not the US should be there at all. With over 100 US soldiers killed last month tolerance is waning. No one is actually offering up a plan for getting out so its hard to know what the Democrats would do either.
Off the election my "favourite" story of the week is this guy - Haggard. A very prominant church spokesperson who founded his own church (New Church with 14,000 members), preached antigay and then, ta da, gets outed for having hired a male sex worker (over a 3 year period) and buying methamphetamine (which he said he threw away and didn't use - having gay sex is clearly the greater sin). He actually went on television denying the whole "sex for hire" thing..............24 hrs later he's toast, "confessed his sins" and no longer head of his own church.

Road trips and celebrations

On the 28th of October I officially became a Master of Diplomacy and Trade. I was/am quietly (and not so quietly) chuffed. One of my goals in moving back to Wellington was to complete my Masters - I really enjoyed everything about this course (which took me three years part time). For those that don't know I set up my consulting company to fund my Masters and was (in theory) supposed to work part time and study the rest of the time. Of course not all of my "clients" saw it that way and, as a consequence, mostly I worked full time and studied in the weekends and at night. It is a good feeling to have completed the course and..........well I just can't help myself...........I would like to be able to, eventually, complete a PHD (we shall see we shall see - perhaps I will grow out of the idea).
Anyway in the interests of celebrating K&B took me on a three day road trip to Colorado. Wow this was just fantastic and saw us winding through some of the most spectacular mountain country and inspired in me a secret ambition to learn to cross country ski, snow shoe and get myself a little cabin in bear country (we shall see we shall see). On our way to Telluride we stopped off at the most amazing historical site - Mesa Verde. The park was established in 1906 to preserve sites built by "Pre-Columbian Indians" on mesa tops and in canyon alcoves. Apparently there are over 4,000 known archeological sites in Mesa Verde National Park, 600 of which are cliff dwellings. It is really spectacular and, at times seems sureal.

Travelling on to Telluride we went over some truely spectacular mountain passes. Colorado isn't really like NZ (although the pictures might not have you think that!). At one of the highest points we crossed we were higher than Mount Cook. Alot of the rock/soil is also quite red, much like Aussie. Telluride itself is this very beautiful ski village that has some truely amazing homes. They have kept true to form (Queenstown are you listening) and have strict building requirements. All the homes in the main town are made of wood and look very "english". K&B bought me my fav bubbles and we had started the evening with bubbles and nibbles in my room (see the view!) then headed out for a very nice meal and a wander around the town.
Next day we headed up to the mountain village - very quiet but able to accommodate thousands of people when the snow is right. We then headed off to Durango . But not before we had a very memorable moment in a little bar in a little town where we walked in and everyone at the bar turned to "look at the strangers in town". I really knew it was time to go when two women at the bar ordered a half yard of beer and looked like this was just the beginning.............
Durango Is another “pretty town” – although very different from Telluride. We started out in the local “saloon” where the waitresses dress accordingly. Then we headed out for another very lovely meal. Ended up having after dinner drinks in a stylie little bar, and given it was the night before Halloween, we were much entertained that by the costumes that came in.
Following day we headed back to New Mexico but not before we had (according to our resident tour guide) driven through the largest alpine valley in the world and passed through Montrose, which is where the high altitude marathon runners come to train………..it didn’t look much like a training ground for anything I have to say!