San Francisco

I'm feeling like a blogging fiend this week, but have realised I'm not actually saying much about what I am doing. Well, happily, I am off to San Fran for an overnight stay on Saturday. Helen's g/f, Robyn, is in town for one night and I am to be the entertainment. Well she's probably more than able to entertain herself, so she's really my entertainment and a little touch of NZ! She wants to go and see some gallery's which is easy and is interested in Jazz. I've done a bit of hunting and booked us into Jazz at Pearls, which is described as a Jazz Club - no jeans or baseball caps allowed (that's what they say so I hope it is true). Best thing is on the night we are going Kim Nalley sings Nina Simone. Nope I don't know who Kim is............apart from the fact that she is described as "a winner of the prestigious "10 Most Influential African-Americans in the Bay Area" award, and this show is a must and a rare tribute." I've decided to trust the critics. I do know who Nina Simone is. Anyway it's all just a bit of a punt....if it's bad I won't be alone and if it's good all the better.
I'm off to sit my drivers license written test this week so that I can book a practical. Glad I read the road code; got some different rules here. I've also been looking at a possible rental for Michelle when she gets back from NZ ('tis very cute, I like it alot).
Funnier yet I have been doing some "email networking" and chatting to a woman in Maine who works at a Carnival. I am now so much better informed about the life of a "Carnie" than I could ever have imagined. I really do like this chatting to complete strangers; why do you suppose I never felt able to do it in NZ? Don't answer - I already figured it out for myself........I already figured out a lot of things about who I wasn't being in NZ! There is something remarkably nice about arriving somewhere with no history and arriving in such a big arse place so that if ever I create a history I want to escape I can just move on!

Gramarphiles

And spelling........"Eats, shoots and Leaves". I know I know I know. There are spelling mistakes and gramatical errors in abundance in the blog - you are mostly too polite to say. I am, as we know, neither a grammar nazi nor a spelling freak.........it's a wonder I ever got employed as a consultant........let alone keep readers here where the spelling and grammar is all to hell. Shut up about the grama and the spellink - well mostly you do. I can hear you even if you don't say it. Mostly when I post I don't care to edit that much. That's the point; the first thing I write is close to the last thing you get. Sometimes I read back and cringe too. But really, when I chatted to you face to face I didn't always get it right then either...........it's free flowing. Sometimes it is enthusiasm, I am thinking faster than my fingers can type.......that's just dumb. For the book I take more care (and I have my little grammar Nazi but a breath away)........that's the point........for the things where, really, it might matter.......I take more care. I love being able to write when there is no book deal pending.....no academic qudos to be gained......no one to care, but me. But then really I want a book deal and academic something.........so that's not all quite true either!

Iraq for beginners

I found this quite interesting. It's called "A Fight for Iraq: A Regional Power Play". Put together by MSNBC it's a relatively short piece on the geopolitical drivers behind Iraq. It explains Iraq itself and then looks at the countries around it. It's not long but if you've got an interest in understanding what's going on in the region it's worth a look. I know it's simplistic and perhaps people more in the know could pick holes - still I thought it was good.......or maybe I just haven't been paying attention and all this is old news to everyone else (quite possible!). It's not about the US at all, and only briefly, towards the end trys to explain why it's difficult for the US to pull out.

Random distractions

I've been playing around with creating a may of My USA. I've put a permanent link on the side but what it displays is all the places I have visited..........visited being a lose term. I have passed through more but have chosen places I have either stayed overnight or spent a reasonable day sightseeing eg Chicago. It's a work in progress and those in the know won't be surprised that much of my US experience to date reflects where K & B have lived! Still there are some "self generated" locations and when I get the bike I'll be able to add even more!
These are the things you can do when you are an unemployed writer!

The day of reckoning

I've been given the nod........it's time to throw the dice and discover if anyone will publish this book. Draft chapters to be sent by the end of the week, several more to be withheld. It's a winner or a loser, to be published or not. More may be required to convince. I'm ready - complete defeat, I hope not............for the first time NZAlien and My Book find a meeting ground. Let's hope or believe both will briefly merge. I seldom accept defeat in the first round....unless I see it as something not worth fighting for. Games on.

Social networking

Well I just don't remember being this confused in NZ.....maybe I didn't care.......but here there are multiple channels for connecting on line. Three quick and easy ones, blogging (clearly my medium of choice), face book........and MySpace. Right then, I chose the blog so that everyone I already knew could keep up with what I was doing. It never occured to me that anyone I didn't know might want to keep up with what I was THINKING..........But apparently it's big here. I've been asked several times if I have a MySpace page. Ummmm no.....seems weird to me. I suppose in someways the blog is the same, except those of you that are reading don't identify yourselves to one another. Well it's all about me - I'm fine with that. I haven't bothered to do enough research on MySpace vs Facebook (secretly thinking it's all in the marketing anyway). I kinda like the bloggers I find - I've surfed into a few MySpace pages and never really thought about Facebook. I guess if I wasn't a blogger (who chose a host who makes it too scary for most to comment) you could all now race in with your opinions. Oh the host I chose wasn't intentional by the way, it was just the first host I came across when I thought having a blog was a good idea - see you all think I am much sneakier than I am sometimes. Anyway I guess that's the difference. Blogging is a little "one way", unless you take the big leap offered by Blogger. Although I could, like the other sites, make my blog private - but then that wouldn't seem to be in the spirit of the thing (at least for me). And I invited some people to read it who may or may not be actively taking up the offer - it would seem rude to now push you away - even if we no longer have contact and I don't have your email address (and you don't have mine). Actually when I reflect on it I think I like just putting up what I think. It's all about me me me...........those of you with my email address let me know what you think (okay sometimes some of you are too polite). Those of you without have to leap into cyber space with me to let me know - few have and that's okay too. Some of you are among the "secret readers" - I've got a counter, I know you are out there. Actually I put the counter on when I went throuh a moment of insecurity many months ago - thinking that no one cared anyway so I'd just stop blogging entirely. The numbers kept going up, I felt gratified, ego satisfied (I really don't care to know everyone that might be reading - unless you think it's important - I just cared that someone was reading and it might be the same small group checking in..........I just cared someone was reading and I wasn't just talking to myself - I now have my book blog for that) so I've kept going. I like that my family read it and I find it hugely funny and ironic that the friends (and family too) probably know more about my life on a daily/weekly basis through the blog than they ever did when I was in NZ. That's my random thought for the day. If you are bored with me go to the header and click on the "next blog" and see what other people are thinking.........avoid the porn (or enjoy it if you have a mind), check the photos on the pages you can't read because they aren't in english (unless I have secret bilingual readers.......that's a nice thought, but I don't think my blog is nearly interesting enough to hold the interest of "random stranger"). Sometimes the "next blog" is good, that's how I found Odd Spot - I've found others too, keep clicking.......there's a whole other world out there!

In sum

Today I took up the somewhat dubious, but no less entertaining, opportunity to summarise my life since Office Cadet School. The class is putting together a DVD of photos etc etc. It's fascinating to see what everyones been doing and how we've variously transformed from 21 years ago! In the spirit of total transparency this is how I described the last 21 years of my life:
"After graduation and two somewhat dull years as a Transport and Catering Troop Commander I left the Army in 1989 and went to Victoria University of Wellington. After completing a Bachelor of Arts in Sociology and Women’s Studies I spent time working as a community newspaper journalist and wondering what to do next! Through a series of events I re-enlisted in the Army in February 1994, as a Specialist Officer in public information. I spent six months as the Assistant Public Information Officer (Army) – working for Bernie’s father, George. Then through an even more bazaar series of events I deployed to Bosnia-Herzegovina as the Public Relations Officer for the First New Force to deploy as part of UNPROFOR. Eight months later I arrived back in New Zealand having grown up a lot and generally looking for something new to do. I went back to my role as Assistant Public Information Officer (Army) and left the Army, again, in 1996 to take up a role in Treasury as the Assistant Director Communications, where I was involved in selling airports and the like. Was then head hunted into the Communications Director role at the then Ministry of Commerce, which we subsequently transformed into the Ministry of Economic Development. Somewhere in there I completed a Post Graduate Diploma in Business Administration.
I leapt out of the public sector and into Fletcher Challenge in Auckland as the Communications Manager for Fletcher Building, just as they were pulling Fletchers apart. Ultimately joined the ranks of the redundant and got employed as a Communications Consultant for Sweeny Vesty in Auckland. Got lured, somewhat foolishly, from there into Fonterra and, with some relief got made redundant. I returned to Wellington, set myself up in my own consultancy while I completed a Masters in Diplomacy and Trade from Monash University in Australia.
Ultimately my dream has been to come and live and work in the USA so I entered the green card lottery and got selected. Arriving in the USA in September 2006 I lived on a Ranch in New Mexico for seven months and now reside in California. I have an online military museum dedicated to women who have served (www.bracketsw.com) and I am planning to buy a touring motorcycle by the end of the year. Currently I am writing a book and wondering what to do next. To say I am a restless soul would be an understatement! Along the way I have travelled a lot, drunk a lot, eaten well and fallen in and out of relationships. Right now happily single and content to keep it that way."
Okay to be fair it naturally has a professional focus. Still it more than amused me to think about what I had done over this time. Can't say I've dwelled long anywhere and those of you reading, who were involved in various phases, could add your own colourful potraits I'm sure! Nice to have a sense of no regrets - that in itself would seem to be an achievement worth celebrating.

Forgiving Dr Mengele

I watched this movie last night. It "...tells the story of a shocking act of forgiveness by Auschwitz survivor Eva Mozes Kor and the firestorm of criticism it has provoked.....
Eva and her twin sister, Miriam, were victims of Nazi doctor Josef Mengele's cruel genetic experiments--an experience that would haunt them their entire lives." Eva is an amazing woman and the movie provides an unexpected insight into the ongoing challenges Jewish people face around how to acknowledge the truth of what happened while still needing and wanting to move their lives forward.
Nazi Germany and the Concentration camps have always held a particular interest (that word seems a bit lame given the magnitude of what happened) for me. When I was eight or nine I watched the WWII documentary that was among the first to show exactly what happened. It had some very graphic footage and it stayed with me - probably a good reason why it was on at 11pm at night! Then in the third form as part of Social Studies we studied the Nazi's. None of the other classes did and given I was, at the time, in the less than stellar academic class, it surprised me that we did. Perhaps that is what has driven my ongoing fascination with war, things military and people's experience of both!

Road trip'n day 3

This the final chapter.........landed at 10.30pm and managed to choose a good place to stay for the last night as well (whew). Oddly more expensive than the first one but more like a "motel" - first is best! Feeling like a little sweaty sow - 4am to 11pm, including walking several miles in very humid conditions, does take it's toll - had a quick shower, accepted there was nothing to eat (or more correctly nothing I was prepared to eat), guzzled a little warm water, sat back to relax. Feeling wired so watched the Food Channel (I really do like those competitions....sorry Tee for all that mocking a while back). Woke up earlish and headed for my bus. Oh yes that is when it got a little complicated. Some concert or other was happening in San Jose so my 35min walk turned into over an hour 10 while I tried to figure out how to get around the road blocks! Finally made the station and waited for the bus. You know one thing I got out of the whole trip was how very very differently people treated me when I was wearing a business suit versus my casual option. Those that would talk to anyone still do...........those that have how you look matter....didn't. I had some of the oddest interactions with men - honestly. Randomly at the airport, when wearing the suit (okay and makeup, it's a job interview to be an FA and I kinda like the whole deal).......men chatted to me! Really in the scheme of things men never do chat to me unless I invite it. Perhaps that's the real change, these days I just welcome any random stranger chatting - even the very odd - it makes for a much more interesting world and as long as I am surrounded by other people offers no real danger to my well being! Anyway that aside, lovely to be home, see flattie and Goldfish and be in my wee bed again. Oh and here's one of those random coincidences - the little silver "bean" in the previous post - one of the flatties friends who came over yesterday was working in Chicago when it was made. She had an office looking over the Park and watched them construct the framework......then just as it was to be finished "they" put covers all around it so no one would know how they got it to look the way it does! No matter the outcome I feel like I've had quite a grand adventure and made the most of the whole deal!

Road trip'n day 2

Got up at 4am after a not very good sleep - always hard to sleep when you have to get up that early. Anyway at the airport 5amish. WOW place was packed. Glad I got there when I did. Delightlfully found myself sitting in the exit aisle so had ridiculous amounts of leg room. Ened up sitting next to a United staffer (risk analyst) and had a nice time talking to her. Predicatably fell asleep for around 2hrs of the four hour flight. Spent the rest of the time reading Harry Potter. Took a taxi from the airport to town. Chicago architecture is amazing but the traffic was terrible. And I didn't know that there is this very fab waterway complete with "draw bridges". Anway went to the interview......all of half an hour......it's a screening interview so won't know for a while. Seemed fine and the interviewer was very nice. They are hiring several 100 FAs. Guess I'll just wait and see. Money is well less than fab.......still I'll just roll with it for now and see what happens. Of course such a short interview left me with several hours to fill in before flying back. Asked some guy on the street if he was from Chicago and what could I do for a couple of hours. I was wearing a business suit so am fairly confident he didn't think I was a hooker. He recommended I hop on a yellow water taxi and cruise down the river for 2 bucks....so I did. Got chatting with a woman who recommended I get off at the Maganificient Mile. It's the shopping mecca for chicago - easy to ignore the shops but the garden display was quiet fantastic. Walked down to the water works which, so the story goes, was one of the very few buildings that survived the Great Fire in 1871 - people used it as one of the few landmarks to try and find their homes. Taxi woman also mentioned the Millenium Park so having tramped the mile I walked to the park. Now that was very cool with some great artworks. The Kapoor Sculpture was particularly interesting and had dozens of kids flocking around it.

Flew out of Chicago at 8pm and got back to San Jose around 1030. Long day but I did enjoy myself!

Road trip'n day 1

Okay because my life is so deadly exciting……and I have time to kill (in a hotel in San Jose) I thought I would take everyone on my little journey to Chicago.
Started with realising I needed to book accommodation either side of the interview day (Wednesday) because I was flying out on a 6am flight and not back until 10pm same night…….no public transport. So dutifully booked on-line, checking prices and hotel reviews (bed bugs not required).
Day 1 going to San Jose from Santa Cruz. Nice start. I thought I would get the Greyhound bus but the very nice man at the counter said that if I walked across the road the Highway 17 bus left in half an hour (as opposed to an hour) and only cost 4 bucks (not a hard choice). Of course that meant I didn’t actually know exactly where the bus would stop in San Jose (only an hour away) relative to my hotel (not paying for a cab if I can walk)……………oh well, train station – can’t be that difficult.
Next delightful moment – got off the bus, checked with someone in the train station, started walking in the direction of my hotel and ta dah – it was literally 5mins away. People very very nice, check into GIANT room with jacuzzi, telly……..all three of which I don’t have at home, free wireless (well that’s pretty standard most everywhere here) and king size bed………next step wake up call 4am tomorrow…………..

Job interview and other stuff

So it's been an interesting week! I had the most fantastic breakthrough in writing, managing to peel off an entire chapter in a day. I've left it a few days and re.read it - I like it.
I've also been preparing for the FA job interview. I really do like the sound of the job and do get that it's not exactly an easy choice. Still I'll take the interview practice, test out the new me with a new view of the world. I've decided to let go of that "too many people and I'll die" view of the world I had. I just need new ways of getting downtime. I'm happy to let go of those little boxes I created around myself - it does open up a whole new set of possibilities. Of course flying out to the interview is a little complicated. It's a one day turn around trip and there is no shuttle service for the times I am flying, which means a night in San Jose either way. I've only ever driven through SJ and it doesn't look particularly interesting - they bill themselves as the only city in Silicon Valley.......as a consequence they seem to have turned downtown into a concret jungle - but I might be being uncharitable given I've never even walked down the main street. I'm on a 630am flight so needless to say I am staying close to the airport, although its not a very big city anyway.
Went out and had pizza and beer with a local woman I met here and we might be going hiking in the Santa Cruz hills at some stage. She has lived here for a while so is very much a local and knows alot about Santa Cruz. It's a bit like Nelson, it seems the money coming in is, in someways, changing the community and not all for the good.
I pre.ordered Harry Potter so have been reading that. I've avoided any of the publicity about it so as not to ruin the story.
Best yet I've enrolled in a motorcycle safety course. They provide the bike and the helmet so that's good. It's not until October - I don't think there are any other classes before then as it is summer break here. It does give me time to do the written test and, finally, get my California drivers licence. When you move into a state you always need to get a licence for that state (not that I have one at all) so it's about time I got my act together. Not thinking about buying a car at all.........very committed to the bike as I'd like to do the touring thing and maybe join a club of some sort. Nice to meet people with like minded interests. Brice has pointed out that the Harley's come with a ready made family - that's quite achieveable but, as I said to him, I'm worried about how often they breakdown. I have not a mechanical bone in my body and being stranded in the middle of nowhere (okay probably with access to a tow truck) doesn't hold much appeal. Not sure I am a harley girl anyway but have been looking at this. No not in white before you ask and I would get it fully kitted with windshield and saddle bags. It's very affordable and I don't look like a midget on wheels........yes my feet can sit flat on the ground. It's classed as a "starter bike" and seems to be one lots of woman get. Read a review from a woman who was 5" and she was very enthusiastic saying once she got more confident the weight isn't a problem at all..........these things are important if one isn't to be seen dropping the damn thing.......as one woman said she did - but she had forgotten to put her feet down at the lights. Apparently not as rare as you might think, for men and woman.
Weather here is fantastically hot and endlessly sunny - no summer showers here to cool the afternoon.
Anyway one way or another it's going to be a big week!

dixie chicks - goodbye earl - musci video

Okay this has been a personal favourite for along time - if you are at all shocked you should stop reading the blog!

dixie chicks not ready to make nice

More You Tube - if you don't know the story behind this video.......find out!

Home again home again.....

I’m back in sunny SC having left sunny NM – honestly temperatures around 100. I have had such a wonderful 10 days. I really do love the ranch. The ranch is looking very green, saw lots of hummingbirds (fascinating little birdies), one very large pink snake (eeeeow), prairie dogs and the unsual assortment of other beasts. Was back in my little yellow house and Renee and Kate had put flowers in a vase and food in the fridge! Peter’s 80th was sweet. Just a couple of hours at his house and I got such a lovely welcome from him. It was on the 4th of July so I spent the day with the Burn’s family. After Peter’s we went to the rodeo. I’ve never been to one before. This was a kids competition and I was shamed at how tiny some of them were on those big horses – horse riding not being my favourite thing!! Went back to the ranch for dinner with the Burn’s (Renee’s parents came too) then we headed to the shooting range to have fireworks. Great fun. Eddie and Renee’s kids (3 in total) are great and (unlike home) we actually held some of the fireworks in our hands while we set them off. Even having competitions to see who could hit the targets – very Harry Potter like.
Spent the next few days working with Renee and generally hurtling around on the four wheeler. Karen and Brice arrived home on Sunday and it was just great to see them!!!! They are both tired and working hard but full of life. Brice took me into Sante Fe on their motorcycle – very beautiful BMW touring beast. I looked at bikes and talked to B a lot about what would be good, would work for me etc etc………I think I’ve chosen one so now have to get both my car and bike licence.
…..I’ve also got a job interview………you know how life is sometimes planned, carefully put together and rolls out in stages…….well this isn’t like that! I got this idea in my head that being a flight attendant might be fun, flying around, seeing the world. Well United are doing a big recruitment drive so I completed an online questionnaire, now I’m off to Chicago for a half day interview later this month. Apparently it’s just cheaper to fly everyone to them. They don’t actually know that much about me as the questionnaire was more about ethics and values than anything else. While I still maintain I am only slightly below average height (averages smaverages) I do just sneak in at being able to reach up to 82inches. Anyway the whole things a riot, I am feeling strangely competitive about it and compelled to give it a go. Does anyone else think it hilarious that the only interview I’ve actually been invited to is in something I have no background in? This is, of course, all part of the grand adventure – if it’s meant to come together and be the thing I do it will, if not, mov’n on to something else. Oh it’s also a little like being in the Army – at the end of the six week training I could end up anywhere as you are “posted” to the airport you will be based out of!

El Rancho

I am heading off to the ranch next week for 10 days. It is Peter's 80th on the 4th so I am really looking forward to seeing everyone. I'm staying on longer as K&B are away and won't be back for the first week and I'd like to see them - it's not like I have a job here! I'll write while I'm there (maybe do some chores too) and start to finalise stuff to send to the publishers.........now that will be a big turning point. I'm going to stay in the yellow house so it's all very familiar. Given it's now summer there won't be any snow but it is hot. It will be lovely to walk the dogs again - sadly Khanie died a few weeks ago - she'd had a really long life given her breed but it made me a little sad, she had such a lovely temperament.
Having spent a good day writing on Thursday I went down to the beach on Friday. It's very close to where I live and the weather has been fantastic. I am sporting a very healthy tan. I wasn't at all tempted to go swimming though - the water is freezing. Generally I'm feeling pretty laid back, although starting to have twinges of nervousness about the publishers! I guess this just proves I haven't gone completely off the rails..........given it's almost a year since I worked.
I've also been thinking about what happens after the book. I'm 100% committed to staying in the US so that part is easy. I've got some ideas and expect life will roll out as it's meant too - with a little shove or two from me of course.
My flatmates finished University for the year so we have spent a bit more time together. It's been nice getting to know her and, because she is an artist and writer (poetry I think), she is very supportive of the writing process. Oh she also proved to be very useful when, despite my best efforts, I simply couldn't get an automated voice machine to understand my accent! I was trying to change flights and had to call. Everything was voice activated and I couldn't even get the machine to understand my name and there's no way to by-pass (I've had that problem before and last time K helped!) so I got Margaretha to talk me through until I could actually speak to a person. I need to work on my American accent.
I've started to meet a few more people, including a Bosnian woman........we have been talking about the war - I had even driven through the small town she lived in, although she wasn't actually in Bosnia when the war started. It's been interesting to hear about how she felt about the war and peacekeepers. Funny coincidence to have met her at this stage.

My personal fav

P!nk - Dear Mr. President Offical Video.
Can anyone tell that I am busy surfing You Tube!

On the campaign trail

Anyone got a crush on Helen C or John K then?

Bereft

Okay not quite. Michelle and Ruth are back in NZ. We have had a fantastic two weeks. It really was lots of fun to have the three of us celebrating and we were easy travelling companions. Went off to the only queer nightclub last Saturday.......it was someone's 30th and, well, the place just rocked. In the interests of being my "new self" I even had a dance or two. We ended up walking home in the small hours - not so bad for me as I was the first house on the list. We also went down to the Boardwalk by the sea and had a ride on the roller coasters and went to a restaurant on the wharf. All very nice. Michelle drove us up into the Santa Cruz Mountains (which are full of red wood trees, I think, big and tall anyway) for a wine tasting on Sunday. Very pleasant it was. Went to one vineyard and they had a special tasting of their award winning Pinot Noir - yummy and unexpected. For the last night we got Michelle's flattie and all went off to the local wine bar I went to on my first night. It was fun and there was lots of laughter.
I am just trying to organise going to the Ranch for Peter's birthday on the 4th of July. It's his 80th and, like all birthdays, they only come around once so I really want to go. It will be lovely to see everyone at the Ranch too. K & B won't be there on the day but will be back on the ranch on the 5th, so I'll stay on a few days and catch up with them too.
It's a hard life being me!

Three cheers for Dr E!

We've spent the last week celebrating Michelle getting her Phd.........she is now officially a Dr of Philosophy. Because we can't do these things by half we started in Las Vagas. M and I got to LV on Monday afternoon and Ruth arrived about two hours later. It was lovely to see her! We all shared a room (M kindly provided the earplugs but somehow we all managed). During the day we lounged by the pool (complete with buckets of beer). There are five or six pools in the MGM and one of them is set up like a winding river - complete with current. Temperatures got as high as 100F so it was hot as but lovely to sit in the shade. During the evenings we wandered around looking at the lights etc etc etc, including going out for at least two fantastic dinners. Did some gambling, not much, but I did manage to make $100 off $2 from the pokie machine - we weren't really big on the gambling thing.

Got back to SC on Thursday and went to M's graduation ceremony on Friday. It was fab - laid out on sportsfields you look out to the sea. Not a lot of ceremony to it - laid back and very personal as there are so few graduating with Phds. No national anthem either - sound track from the opening credits to paramount (or Warner) movies and star wars while faculty and graduates parade through the seating. Aftwards we went back to Ms where she had a few friends over, sat around, ate mexican food and generally toasted the day. M also had a "Pricess Cake" specially dressed just for her.

It's none of my business but...

I'm sitting in a cafe, writing, it's what the students do here - free internet and probably nicer than most of the houses they live in (mine too) - not the point. I’ve just overheard someone in a café commenting that “maybe it’s un-American not to care” – she is joking and I don’t know what she was talking about but it’s a testament to the power of US culture. Have you ever heard a kiwi say it would be un-kiwi or “unpatriotic” to do or say anything?

Gay Pride

On Sunday Michelle and I headed off to the gay pride march and festivities. It was a fab day. Predictably the boys really did turn out in the most fantastic outfits. Athough I did think Obama might have been amused to see his name on the butt of one of the roller girls!
Being Santa Cruz all shapes, sizes and political persuasions were represented. Dykes on Bikes lead the parade (of course, somethings stay the same no matter where you are) and we both loved the Latino dancers - a rare sight M tells me. We stood across from the only gay bar in SC (at least they have one) so
we not only got to watch the parade but the crowd as well. My favourte character of all (and she wasn't in the parade) had to be the Paris Hilton girl.........do you think it's rude to take photos of random people? In case it's not immediately obvious, that is a little dog in her purse. After the parade we wandered into the park where there were a whole bunch of tents selling stuff and promoting various political activities. There was a stage and a series of live performances as well. The SF Cheerleaders (boys and girls) were a hit as they tossed people in the air and generally showed disgusting amounts of energy given the heat of the day. The park was alcohol and smoke free so it was very laid back. I checked it out and SC is about the size of Nelson and probably has a similar type of community - although the University adds a dimension that Nelson doesn't have. Aging hippies sit easily with the more youthful variety. There's also a big mixture of homeless people with quite a large chunk in their late teens or early twenties. Mostly they are pleasant enough and it all just comes with the territory.
Monday we head to LV for the long anticipated trip. Ruth is flying in from NZ and it will be really nice to see her. She's coming back to SC for Michelle's grad as well (although she's been here before). Then her and M head back to NZ.
I'm still enjoying the writing and have had my "first reading" - which has given me some really useful feedback and I seem to be on the right track. I might actually pull this whole thing off! No idea what I will do once the book is done, I guess it will become clear and I am surprisingly nonplussed about it. It could be this lack of a job (and all the stress that goes with it) suits me. Mostly it's had me realise just how exhausted I was when I arrived in the US. I really was at the end of my energy and in desperate need of down time. I am "a pig in muck" - on ocassion I pop out of the pen (or the cave), look around, sniff the air then head right back in again...........I think I'll just follow my instincts for now and see where theylead me!

Ticking along

So "we" have handed on "our" phd - although only one of us actually wrote it and will be called a Doctor at the end. Oh well I guess you don't just get handed these things for being a good person, apparently it does require a little more effort. Mostly being with M is what the last few weeks have been all about. We had a little party on Friday with the two of us and her flattie, Judith, to celebrate. Judith runs her own business doing "body work" - I can tell you all the things its not (massage, chiropractic etc) but maybe not what it is. Since I left the ranch I've had a really painful shoulder. Kind of stiff and just not coming right. Went to Judith and wow - I am 100% better and it was the most gentle process ever. She's amazingly skilled and you almost don't realise anything is happening at all. Not quite but it certainly left me much more aware of just where I do have aches and pains (protecting that gimpy leg takes up a lot of my time so I almost forget the rest of me). I've also been writing too which has been very good. Aiming to get "something" to the publishers to look at in July..........then of course they have to say it's fab and we want you, sign a contract and.......then I need to finish writing the rest of it. Both M and the new flattie have convinced me that I shouldn't find work until Autumn and spend the summer writing. Now that hasn't been hard to agree to! On the countdown to LV and I am making sure to save all my quarters, being the high roller that I am. Now here's a movie worth seeing The War Tapes: Armed with minicams mounted on their gun turrets, helmets and dashboards, three National Guardsmen capture an unprecedented perspective of the Iraq war in this powerful documentary culled from more than 1,000 hours of footage. Deftly interlaced with harrowing film of ambushes, explosions and severed limbs are the soldiers' complex reactions to the conflict and interviews with the women they left behind.
I'd never heard of it but the flattie had so we got it via Netflix, which is this very cool system where you sign on and order DVDs on line, they are posted to you, no late fees and you send them back using a return envelop. You can also watch a heap of movies on line as well......... But back to WT - it really is quite startling to see how they all change during their 12 month deployment. Quite graphic in places, gives you a real sense of what it must be like. It was filmed in 2004 - I bet they wouldn't let them do it now.

You know you've landed when.....

a. You go out and buy sheets, towels and sundry other items that make for a home
b. You not only remember your street address but your zip code as well
c. You boldly change your Amazon postal address, sure that you will still be here when the book arrives
d. You commit to buying a dryer for the flat (nothing else is yours, the flat really needs one and you need to start getting a credit rating) and your flat mate is delighted
e. The cat sleeps with you at least some of the night
f. You say things like "I'm heading home"
g. Your shelf in the fridge is full and you have your very own cupboard
h. You, who never does these things, has continued to put a little bunch of flowers, picked from the garden, on your dresser draw, just 'cos it looks nice
i. .............you really start to believe in a future, in this town, doing something you love

Viva Las Vegas and stuff

My second week in SC and I am happily settled in my new home. It could be life is just a series of coincidences but in the strangest twist of all it turns out my flattie (from here on in known as M) is doing her Masters in Fine Arts focusing on how new media facilitates everyone participating in the military – or something along those lines. We've only had a quick conversation but I couldn’t believe it given she didn’t know what my book was about; guess there’s a certain sense of serendipity. I’ve started a new blog too. It’s all about the process of writing the book. Really it’s my own rambling thoughts about some stuff so if you’re not into the writing thing best to ignore it. There’s a link on the right for those that care. I’ll keep going with nzalien focusing on “life in general”.
I’ve spent the last week supporting Michelle while she writes her Phd. Mostly just being here, getting her fed and generally reminding her that “this too shall pass”. I, of course, have a vested interest as we have booked ourselves on a cheapee deal to Las Vegas for three days/four nights staying at the MGM Grand on the strip to celebrate. We leave on 11 June through 14 June – yeeha. Neither of us are gamblers (except to sit at the pokies and get free drinks) but both like the spa thing. We’ve both been before so can skip some things and know what to expect. Day after we get back is Michelle’s actual graduation. Wow! Following week she heads back to NZ…….which also means she will be able to get some of the info I need for the book and post it back. ‘tis all falling into place.
I’m not going to look for anything resembling a job until after LV. I’m now riding around on Michelle’s bike – remember keep right look left. Toying with the idea of getting a motorbike as well. I expect this will complete my “mid-life crisis”. Not much point having a car in SC, buses are good and you can walk to most places but a bike would be good to get to some of the areas further out and, well, it just might be fun.

Happy daze

I have had a remarkable 48 hrs. First and most importantly - I have a home. I arrived to find a lovely note from my new flattie, a little bunch of flowers in my room and a very warm and friendly "goldfish" (ginger cat, who was happily lounging on my bed when I arrived). The cottage is small but sweet and Margaretha has lots of flowers and plants around. It's not at all flash but genuinely cosy with very lovely arty touches. My room will be a wonderful place to write and the house and the neighbourhood I live in mostly smells of roses and gypsophila with a mixture of truely rustic and highly cultivated gardens. The smells remind me of holidays in Central Otago and nana's house (which always smelt of some flower or another). It has also been incredibly warm here (around 23 but really humid).

The B&B I stayed in was full of people transitioning or changing their lives - or at least those were the ones I met. Everyone I chatted to was optimistic, full of enthusiasm for the day and all genuinely interested in each others success. I met a woman from NY who has spent years in marketing/sales/advertising and has come to SC to see if she wants to stay. Like me she has been on the move for several months and also doesn't want to go back to her corporate life. It's very inspiring to meet other people who have also stepped outside their comfort zone to discover new things. Even as people told their stories no one needed nor wanted to dwell on anything other that the optimism of their choices..........there's a book in there! Everyone was very enthusiastic about my book and I am going to start a data base of people (okay so I have two names) and invite them on the journey with me.........hopefully they will also want to read the book. I think too I will start a separate blog that is simply about the book.

The other big marker of the day is that we have sold all the houses. I have such a sense of relief. Managing things from afar and having to ask friends/family to do most of the leg work for me isn't ideal. Still I can't believe how my life has changed in the last 9 months and that I have arrived at this point; full of hope, optimism, excitment and possibility.

Reflections

It’s a strange world to be living in two places. Daily I am here, in SC, enjoying all the things it brings to me. Everything about being here is entirely manageable. I can walk the town – I like that – it is near the sea – I like that a lot – it is full of creative, eccentric, odd and genuinely engaging people – I remind myself to be present. Then I inhabit another world, the past. As I write I am thrown back in time. I am trying to capture not only the facts but the feeling - to convey something meaningful. I like writing. It has surprised me how much I like it. I am also surprisingly fearless in the things I say. I name people, some will be unhappy with how I describe my experience of them…….but it’s my experience. Some will disagree with how I remember things. Some will agree. But I don’t care – I’ve reached a point where I really don’t care. It is my story, as I would have it told. It’s not angry, mad, sad or bad. At least I don’t think it is – my “ghost editor” will keep me honest. When it is timely she will tell me if what I think I am doing is what I am actually doing.
What I think (and hope) is that it is genuinely interesting and thought provoking. At best it’s a good yarn, at better than best women who have served will read it and parts will resonate – that’s what I really care about – anything else is background. I have a single-minded determination to have this book published. I have only just realised that no other NZ women soldier (sailor nor air force personnel) has ever written their story. Why not?

Of first nights and wine flights

I have had the most amazingly wonderful week. The B&B, minus breakfast but with a kitchen we can cook in, is every bit as beautiful as promised. Lovely lovely lovely. I have really enjoyed cooking for myself again and the luxury of it all.
To celebrate just being here Michelle and I went to a local wine bar on my first night. They have this thing called a “wine flight” – we ended up drinking three glasses of the most amazingly surprisingly lovely wine from Slovenia and eating some very lovely snackeriles. It’s the most indulgent I’ve been since leaving el rancho – which was mostly indulgent.
Post that I’ve been looking for a place to live. I went and looked at the most lovely room – had everything I thought I wanted etc etc etc (with flatties – two guys). Then unexpectedly another place came up and I went to this cottage behind an old villa.- guy in front (landlord) just collects stuff……….I mean stuff………. it’s like Stepto and Son. But met this fab woman who is doing her masters at the University of SC (fine arts, digital media, I think she also does creative writing), has a ginger cat called Goldfish and it all just feels right. The room is much smaller than the first one I looked at, not glamorous, got a bed and a desk and some draws (really it matters in that order), no TV but wireless (Telecom should be shot) and cheap as chips in the scheme of things……….are we seeing a theme? I think it will be a very happy place to live so I’ve agreed to move in on Tuesday when my time at the B&B ends.
Michelle is also about 2 seconds from handing in her dissertation (after 8 years as a doctoral student it looks to me like the most torturous thing in the world to actually complete the writing process!). Given my own personal obsession and admiration for anyone that works hard and is focused on there dreams it’s a wonderful privilege to be here. In a bit of mutual support I walk over to Michelle’s every day (1 hour each way, although it will only be 20mins from the new place) we each work in our own worlds for a minimum of 4 hours. Of course the pay off for me is that it get to see more of her, hear about what she is writing and share some of my writing ideas too. And of course we just get to chat at the end. Sometimes I write the book sometimes I don’t. It works. I am liking being in SC and it just seems to keep going “do the right thing the right thing happens”.

New beginnings - Chapter 4

Head off to Santa Cruz tomorrow - yay I am ready to go. As was pointed out to me Cable Court Hotel is one of those "tipping points". I've watched people come, go and stay. Apart from some of the long standing tenants (upwards of 10 years) this is a staging point for people. Some people arrive with no plan whatsoever and arn't even sure if they can pay the next weeks rent. It's the oddest thing when I think about what it must be like to find yourself "homeless" and arriving here, with no idea what happens next and no visible means of support. Some people, like me I guess, are clearly moving on to something - even if we don't know what it is. Last night I spoke to a guy from Romania who has arrived here with his wife, having won his greencard in the lottery. They've only been here three weeks so haven't got their greencard yet and yes, are about as nervous about it as I was - it's not really real until the card actually arrives. We had a nice chat about NZ and Romania and the weirdness of the US. They are looking for accommodation but not finding it easy. He was worried about his english not being very good - I thought it was very good myself but it's definitely tougher if english is your second language. The whole immigration thing is big here - although San Fran calls itself a "sanctuary city" and refuses to allow it's officials to co-operate with the immigration service in raiding neighbourhoods, which they have started doing. It's an ugly situation as you have parents who are illegals but their children are US citizens - can't see any sign that there's anything like a descent policy approach emerging - in some cases the parents are gone and the kids end up with family or friends!
On the housing front I'm going to meet with some people on Wednesday who have a room for subletting for eight months starting 1 June. They sound like very cool people (well based on the email exchange). Older and, I think, at least two of them are European, not sure about the third. What makes it nice is the room I am looking at has a bathroom attached - I like that. We'll see and I guess I'll have to go through the dreaded "are you queer friendly" conversation - some of the ads for people actually say it out right. I'd be surprised if they're not but if it doesn't become obvious I guess I'll have to ask.........

ANZAC Day and writing books

No dawn service for me this year so I hunted around to see if there was anything happening in SF for ANZAC Day. Yup, about 2 minutes up the road at Grace Cathedral. It was lovely. There were around 150/200 people there. Mostly Aussies and Kiwis but some Americans too. They even had poppies to give away. Real highlight had to be the Australian Girls Choir singing the NZ National Athem in english and Maori! We also sang the American National Athem - which is a first for me and had a bugler do the Last Post. It was very strange to be surrounded by NZ/Aussie accents.

I'm not a big church goer (ie never go.......except as a tourist) but Grace Cathedral is a SF icon. People of all backgrounds are welcome and they conduct same-sex "unions" (best not use the M word). It also has an AIDs interfaith chapel that includes an alterpiece created by Keith Haring weeks before he died of AIDs. It's also where I walked the Labyrinth. Which, to be honest, I didn't know much about until I picked up the flyer inside the church. Very interesting history and the Cathedral has a project focused on introducing people to the philosophies behind the labyrinth.
More chirpy news - 3 publishers have come back and said they are interested in the book! I so forgot how small NZ is as I hadn't expected to get responses from my email so quickly. At least 2 are interested in seeing a manuscript.....now. A tad early but one is happy to see a sample chapter sooner rather than later. Wow - I'm taking it as a sign that as I start to do the right things the right things start to happen. Now I just need a place to live and some form of income (I have some ideas for that........not including wearing a suit).

I leave here for Santa Cruz on the 30th. I have indulged a bit and booked myself into a lovely little B&B for my first week. It's very very self indulgent and does mean I really do need to focus on getting a sublet for the summer. I haven't been spending much money in SF (doing all the free stuff) so this is my reward. I have a wonderful sense of new beginnings.

Cruz'n

End of the month and I am off to sunny Santa Cruz. Just back from a weekend with Michelle, seeing the Cowboy Junkies and doing "inside Santa Cruz". Sealed the deal really. It's a vibrant friendly little town. A mixture of old hippie, laid back muso and activist students. It has a real sense of creativity about it. Job opportunities vary. I am heading into summer so there a quite a few cheap sublets around for rent. Anyway I am wildly excited about the whole thing and the hotel I am in have agreed I can go at the end of the month (usually give 30 days notice) so it all falls into place. Michelle's also very kindly offered to come pick me up in a car so I don't have to go via Greyhound bus...........now that's a bonus. It's only 2.5hrs by bus and $13 but I have a few bags - this makes it all much easier. Am wildly excited by the whole thing. Michelle is around until mid June, and deeply emersed in finishing her Phd so although I will only get to see her occassionally it does mean I will have settled before she heads back to NZ.

Book writing is going well - I think. I have one chapter, the bones of another and am working through the introduction. It was obviously meant to be as the words just flow. Some days I think it's rubbish other days I like it. I am about to send out my first round of letters to publishers too. I am trying to get ahead with the writing so that if (ha!) they actually want to see a sample chapter, I have one.

I think we've all but finished selling houses (one to go unconditional) - should all be over within the next two months. It is, finally, starting to feel all very tidy and clean. Selling things off (including a lot of my personal belongings) has created this lovely empty space for me to do other things. In case any of you do wonder - I do feel very previlleged to be here right now and to have the space to pursue something entirely new. Could it be that I am actually about to give up Corporate life?..................well more importantly it appears I have!

Burning down the house

Not quite, but last night was very exciting as we had a fire alarm. Went off at around 9pm so not as bad as it could have been. Fortunately I am on the ground floor - about ten steps from the front door. Interesting to realise your life amounts to making sure you are dressed, grabbing your laptop, official documents, cellphone and wallet. People were pretty frecked out and I'm not convinced everyone left the buildings. Still fire engines arrived complete with two female firefighters! Cool! Nothing came of it.

I am reading this book. I haven't finished it yet but it is very interesting. It's the memoir of the Commanding General of Abu Ghraib. I came to the book with my own set of prejudices. As I read her story, as she tells it, I have tremendous admiration for her. While she demonstrated a failure of leadership – her soldiers staffed the prison but overall responsibility for the prison rested with the intelligence people – I don’t believe she either fostered, encouraged nor ever believed any of her soldiers would behave like this.
She was, in reality, responsible for setting up an entire prison system through Southern Iraq. A logistical nightmare and resulting in her being spread very thin with few resources. Early on she also had concerns about having military police personnel become prison wardens, recognising they didn’t have the skills. Still she was an A-typical soldier, committed to the mission and potentially not vocal enough about the real risks in the way the whole system was being set up.

She is mightily guilty of working hard on the wrong things and being out of touch. That, in my view, is not nearly the same as actively fostering nor encouraging the abuses that occurred. Equally too she takes ownership of this and, in quite a frontal way, challenges the systemic and gendered politics that had her singled out early on. While others, who had more decision making power than her were not. That may seem trite but she explains how she heard about the photographs and how her immediate boss behaved………..these are not things the media readily report but her dialogue is very compelling and at no point does she say she doesn’t have some accountability in the whole episode………….what she does introduce is an interesting and slightly reluctant view that gender played a huge part in how the system chose to manage her situation.
Things that never came out about Janis Karpinski are that she was a pioneer throughout her career including setting up and spending five years training women to work as part of the United Arab Emerites Armed Services. She was very much a believer in the system, although always recognised that being a women in the armed services made her different and experienced all the attendant abuses, both physical and emotional.
Nothing excuses what happened but I have always felt deeply disturbed that so few in the command structure were held accountable and I remain disturbed – Kaprinski’s paid the price but there is much more to this story yet to be told.
She does offer some candid insights into her entire 25 year military career as well – I am finding the style of the book (it has been written by a journalist, using her voice) very readable.

Rambling

In the interests of getting some real exercise and fresh air I decided to head off on my Golden Gate Park adventure, which the first time had lead me to the Presidio. GGP is closer to our idea of the gardens. All up it was 5 hours and about a 6mile or 10km round trip. I am always loathe to get on public transport and, to date, haven’t – I blame my mother and our trip to Vancouver! The gardens were lovely although not at all what I expected. They had all the usual things – ramshackle walk through the bush, coupled with a series of themed gardens (including NZ, which I didn’t wander into – I figured it wasn’t the best use of time as I kind’ve knew how that would look). Really the thing that struck me – the none gardener – was how NZ public gardens (and those we encountered in Canada) are really rather British.
Bay area residents are mightily proud of their gardens and they should be. The GGP is full of many lovely open spaces and rambling walks. I think perhaps though I have been unduly influenced, both by Wellingtons public gardens and Flis (who continues to be a talisman of what creating a dream garden could be). This has led me to a vision of gardens that consist of a series of “rooms”, boxed hedging and raised beds…………very Vita and Violet. It was just one of those cultural moments. Lovely in itself and wildly worth celebrating for the share difference of it all. Oh and I am such a cheap-ass too. It was a mere 5 bucks to get into the Japanese garden but I can go for free, three days a week, as long as I get there before 10am so kept my cash in my pocket.
I have been researching how to get my book published (like I have written it yet), started writing and devised, what I hope will be, a clever plan to get all the info I need out of the archived boxes I have stored in NZ. At one level I feel like I am spinning my wheels but then have a tremendous sense that patients, combined with commitment, will take me where I need to go……..in fact historically that always happens – when it suits the past can be a fine measure for the future!
Next weekend I go back to Santa Cruz to go to the Cowboy Junkies concert with Michelle. In my mind I have a vision of SC and it will be interesting to head back with a view to “this is about to become my home”. I’ve started looking at places to live. The University breaks for the summer soon so I am already seeing a whole lot of places looking to sublet – complete with furniture.
The singular best thing K & B have taught me about life in the US is if you are going to spend money on anything research, research, research. It is a lesson well learnt and now I have the benefit of Michelle’s local knowledge - I hope I end up somewhere nice and that has a dog.

Da new plan

I've been in the states for 7 months - 5/6 months of which were spent in a wonderfully supportive environment that allowed me to recover from the past, with not much thought for the future. It seems the future is here and, to be honest, I've spent the last 4 weeks applying for jobs I don't want and........not getting them. I've always yakked on that if something isn't coming together for you then it's because you are doing the wrong something. So, in the interests of walking the talk, I've decided to stop applying for jobs I don't want and write a book on my experiences of Bosnia. It's been a long time coming and I can't think of another time in my life when I will have this much freedom.
While I could aspire to be the global comms manager for some large corp (and may have in the past) - it seems a little tedious and, well, not what I want to do. I do still have some "live" job applications out there but feel a singlemindedness about this.
I guess it's serendipitous that I find myself in the US with Michelle, who has always been a champion of my writing "the book" (along with a few others out there) and brings me full circle in my world.
It's all not quite as random as it sounds. I have a plan - I always have a plan. First I need to leave San Fran and go find somewhere cheaper to live. I am not coming back to NZ as I honestly believe I belong here and this is where I want to be. Honestly too the cost of living in NZ is not unlike here - only with fewer choices. I have a greencard so can work anywhere.
I've looked around a bit and have arrived back in California at Santa Cruz. There's a university, climates great, it's cute, not far from San Fran and jobs. I will get some kind of job. Something interesting, I hope, but not overly taxing.
I've also been researching how you actually go about getting a book published. It's all very possible and no more or less daunting than anything else I've done! That's my story and I am sticking to it.
Questions anyone?

Vote Different

If you haven't seen this you should! Caused quite alot of controversy here. Particularly as Obama denied it was from his camp then it turns out one of the guys who works for the PR agency that works for Obama did it in his own time........he's just lost his job - doesn't pay to let presidential candidates flattly deny any link and then be the link! Oh and I would appreciate a quiet round of applause because I figured out how to post this into my blog............

Quality of life crimes

Someone described San Fran to me as "unlike any other city in the US" - actually every city you go to someone will describe it like that. They were, however, referring to how liberal San Fran is compared to the rest of the US (yep - plenty of evidence for that!). Something I have noticed is how accessible information is about the work of local government and how much this is discussed in local forums. While the locals do moan that they don't get much info they have several local TV channels dedicated to "The Bay Area". There are regular talk fests on the latest decisions/plans being proposed and emerging community issues. They also have "Town Hall" meetings where local representatives front up to communities on the issues of moment - somewhat more challenging than opening your electorate office door one day a week!
Recently the mayor (Gavin Newsom - who's had his own little public nightmare going on) has come up with a proposal to introduce a "people's court" (not Judge Judy) to deal with crimes against quality of life ie urinating in the street, sleeping in doorways, graffiti etc etc. It's based on the NYC model where, rather than have people (read mostly homeless), thrown into the state justice system where nothing changes, you put them through a community system where they have to complete some form of restitution eg graffiti artists have to clean up graffiti. Concurrent with that offenders get "proactively" offered the services of the social system as well to try and turn their lives around and get the help they need (which doesn't mean all of them want help BTW). It's not really a new idea but it's been interesting to watch the debate. Of course it will only be as good as being able to resource the whole thing. It's ambitious and far from decided but they are even going so far as to say they want the "court" to be located in the communities of real concern so that people start to take ownership from within. I guess it worked in NYC, although it's not clear to me if the homeless actually did (in large numbers) move off the street or just move - I think the latter myself. Unlike NYC there are, however, plenty of activitist groups with the numbers to keep the city honest or at least stage a protest to remind the city when it's being less than honest! Anyway many holes to be blown in this thesis but fascinating none the less and it is always easier to be on the outside looking in.
One campaign I found refreshing is inviting people to politely say "no, not today" when a homeless person asks for money. Reminding people that the homeless are people too. Mostly where I am the homeless are very polite. One guy now just says "hi how are you today" to me, as I have never given him money and I guess we have both reached the point of being "locals" - I did tell you it was like Cuba Street didn't I?
Have had a somewhat dull week - not sure why..........except I do need to start to get out more and meet people. In the absense of a job I've felt a bit held back. I have met someone (other than Leslie) who has a network of single friends who just go out and try to meet new people, she has offered to introduce me to them so I do need to follow up on that (this was a while back)............Yes I know "shutup and get on with it".
I am heading back to Santa Cruz in a few weekends to go to a concert with Michelle so that's another little outing too. This time I will take some photos of the area - it is beautiful and hopefully the weather will be fine.

Home sweet home

Ha - I have a place to live.........for now. Hotel has just confirmed that I have been approved as a tenant. Yayayayay - I really don't want to move yet and this works fine for now. Been out and scouted a "hot plate" so I can cook something other than microwave food in my room. Also just down the road is a "You say Tomato" store which has "british" food. Went in for the first time today and what it means is Rose's lime juice, marmite, cadbury chocolate, pies (they don't really do pies here) etc etc etc. Bought a flake just for the hell of it. Oh there is also a "Psychic Studio" across the road which, if I get wildly bored, I may just wander into.
It's been raining today (first time since I arrived) and it was kind of nice to wander around a bit in the rain.
On the funny side - we only get wireless in the foyer/lounge and there is a hardcore group of 6 or so of us who are regularly online (some people have their own but I like the sense that it is "free"). I think we are all the people looking for work and/or at least one guy trying to run some kind of sales business - regularly get to hear him on the telephone coaching his sales team (no idea what they are trying to sell but does confirm I don't want to be in sales). Anyway last night I was informed that I must be "the girl with the funny accent" who is one of the dozen or so always sitting on our computers. The guy then proceeded to describe everyone else (he is waiting for his laptop to arrive and feeling somewhat deprived I think). As a group we don't actually speak to one another - beyond casual nods - very "internet cafe", without the coffee.

Old friends & good times

Back from my lovely weekend with Michelle. It was wonderful to see her and be with someone who simply knows who I am (and who I know so well). M drove up from Santa Cruz (takes about 2.5/3hrs) and, once we got out of San Fran we meandered down the coast to SC. It was a bit misty at first so not much view (although lots of laughing). When the mist passed it became very aparent the coast line is alot like NZ. White sand, big cliffs and lots and lots of surfing beaches. SC itself is surfer central.........older surfers rather than all the young guns from what I saw. It really is a very lovely little town. Nice mix of student life (although somewhat more upmarket), holiday destination and laid back beach lovers. M's campus in actually set in a wooded area - it was an old ranch that was gifted to the government and they have built all the campus buildings around the trees. Really very lovely and very Michelle. It was nice to see where she has spent the last 6 years.
There is also a boardwalk area down by the water front. We sat out on the pier at a lovely restaurant eating and watching seals and birds at play. The Boardwalk has a fun park on it that you wander through - alot like Brighton (England) for those that have been. We did go on an old original wooden roller coaster and play some shooty games in the arcade. Weather was lovely and it was great to just watch people.
Saturday night we went out to a bar (mostly queer) - I'd kinda forgotten what it was like - same dynamics, different country. All shapes, sizes and attitudes la la - enjoyed chatting with M most of all.
I caught the bus back to San Fran on Sunday night and was happy to be back in my little room having enjoyed the weekend, the laughter, food, wine and the adventure! Oh and it did also mean that I passed through a couple of towns where I have been looking for work.
Still job hunting, applied for lots - you'll know when I know.

Exhibition

Here is a fab little exhibition I "stumbled" across when I thought I was going to the Golden Gate Bridge Park, but was actually going to Presidio Park!

During WWII (yes it had to involve the war) Chaplain Frederick McDonald collected shards of broken stained glass windows throughout Europe. A group of artists have now made twenty five "windows" and works of art that memoralize the places the glass was found. Some of the work is fantastic and all of it has words engraved somewhere on the art work - often describing peoples impressions of the war. I was well impressed by the whole thing.

Presidio Park itself is interesting too. Originally it was where the native Ohlone people lived. No surprises, the Ohlone people were ousted ..... by the spanish, then it fell under Mexican rule until the US Army took it over in 1846, making it into a military post. It's all now part of the Golden Gate National Recreation Area and still has some of the original buildings on it, including barracks and officers mess. When I was there a marching team was practicing on the "parade ground" - which is now a car park - which did bring a slight cringe (girl outta the military but not the military outta the girl!). Presidio also has the San Francisco National War cemetary, softball fields, play grounds and walking tracks. Getting there involved walking through very upmarket San Fran - the price of cafe coffee and food, of course, went up progressively as I drifted further from my humble lodgings into the more salubrious neighbourhoods. Still I did feel prompted to pick up a pamphlet about becoming a "parks volunteer" - yes I do need to get a day job!

Random strangers

So in the interests of not spending all my time alone I have now taken to spending days with random strangers. Okay not quite but I did spend a pleasant afternoon down on Fisherman's Wharf and clothes shopping..........no not me her..........with an undergrad student from Tennassee who moved into the room across from me. She's only here for a week and we struck up a conversation so I invited her on a walking adventure. It was fun and a little "outside the box". Given we walked for about 6 hours (noting she is not actually a great lover of walking!) I am feeling very fit and was more than up for it. No ranch hand opportunities so I have to keep fit somehow.
Found my mystery caller too! Had a lovely chat with Michelle who is very kindly going to pick me up in a few weekends time and take me on a little adventure to Santa Cruz. That will be fab as I haven't been there before and haven't seen Michelle since well before I left NZ.
Started applying for a range of jobs - too early to know if by resume gets me past the first step. If it doesn't, back to the writer we go and she gets to have another go.
K&B are now in NZ and, despite only having a 45min window, did manage to make their connection in San Fran - so did get to speak to them but didn't see them. Funny to think I am now the one on the otherside of the world and all the family is in NZ. Of course I don't feel entirely alone as I do know everyone at the Ranch, at least one other person in San Fran (other than the hotel manager of course) and Michelle. And I've got two other "contacts" I have yet to call.
Best find of the week- fab Vietnamese restaurant that gives the biggest bowls of noodle soup (a personal favourite) for 7 bucks.....I think I am about to become a regular!

Went on a little walking adventure the other day. Walked around the labryinth at the Cathedral and have thrown in some other photos just for fun. Hung out in the park reading my book and then wandered around some other bookshops. The weather over the weekend is supposed to be fantastic so I am planning a little picnic at the Golden Gate Bridge park, down by the water. I've never wandered into there before so I hope the weather is fine.

Have started negotiating taking on a monthly lease at the hotel- given I have no job and no credit history in the US I need to convince them I am a likeable character who can/will pay the rent. I am forever optimistic that it will all be okay and, having looked around a little, in the absense of a job this is still the best option. There are, of course, far more glamorous options but who knows where I will end up. I've even been toying with possibly rooming with someone else when the time comes - not sure about that but Craigslist.com gives me a good idea of what's out there. These are the little things I obsess about!

Another plus, looks like Houghton Bay has sold. Settlement in May so it ain't over until settlement day but there's no reason why it shouldn't all go through. Funny when I left NZ I wasn't at all ready to "own nothing" but, at some point, I realised that part of actually leaving is all about letting things go and that, all going well, I am most likely to end up "owning something" here. If nothing else I can and do dream big!!!

It's the little things

I have upgraded my room. It is now twice the size and newly refurbished, large wardrobe (closet here), draws, shower and toilet that actually has a door between me and my "lounge". TV too - basic cable. Have forsaken the kitchenette (got a microwave and fridge) as I have now explored the local area. Turns out I am living in the equivalent of "Cuba Street". Very eclectic mix of eateries (cheapas) so I can afford to eat a meal out and snacks in. Nice, very bohemian cafe across the road too (got bagels - yum). Went off and got one plate, one wine glass (of course), one cup and a knife and fork. It's a little like being a student again only I have a very stylish wardrobe (no place to wear anything of course) and I am neither studying or working.
Just so you get a sense of the hotel - I don't have a telephone in my room but have got a cell phone (email if you want the number). I can't call outside the US on it (which will, at some point, change). The infamous "someone called" but Bill (the very nice live in hotel manager) couldn't remember who............so my apologies if you think I am ignoring you.
It's really hot here today and everyone is getting around in tee shirts. Today it is a very nice day to be me!

Hello San Fran

The funny thing about blogs is that they prompt you to feel like you need to say something.....quite often. Those that know me best know that I am not wildly good at "sharing" unless I am constantly jabbed in the ribs ie nagged to death, or suddenly feel/realise that I really should share as people might actually like to know what is going on and "sharing" is a good thing (it's a personal kwirk and not something I do consciously, I just forget that I haven't shared.......except when I know I am not sharing). So, in the interests of "sharing" - I have landed in San Fran, it has been a little culture shock (although not insurmountable) and 3 days in I am a little less shocked than I was on day 1. I have, after all, lived a very sheltered life for the past 5 months - thank you K&B.......who don't live a sheltered life but have patiently waited for me to emerge from my personal cave.
I am now living in the worlds smallest room (albeit with kitchenette that has no actual kitchen equipment). Tomorrow I will ask to be "up graded" and possibly take on a one month lease as, in the end, the place is as cheapas and I am unemployed. That all sounds quite easy, but we shall see and I do, of course, have a backup plan.
I appear to be in a safe area, other tenants appear sane, drug free and able to smile and be pleasant - this is San Fran on the cheap so these things are not to be under estimated. There really is the most fab supermarket down the road (Wholefoods, a fav of K&Bs) and even closer a slightly less glamorous one that I really should shop at, and have..........although sometimes you just want quality over quantity.........for a price.
Yesterday I went to the Chinese New Year Parade and watched all the floats - chatting casually with the people next to me. San Fran folks are mighty friendly and strike up a conversation at the drop of a hat - look a little confused and someone comes up and asks if they can help (this all before 7pm, later in the night I just can't say).
Took a breath - got over my shy self - and called Karen and Eve's friend Leslie (random friend-of-friend moment 1). She was simply fab. Came and picked me up and we went for coffee and a walk in the Castro district (queer capital of San Fran). She was very funny and I laughed alot. All in all a very pleasant "outing"...........it's been a while.
Yes I have started to apply for work. A combination of "cold calls" (really challenging my shy self) and actual jobs. Time will tell. Oh they are not all in San Fran, but so far all in California.
Sometimes I wonder what the hell I am doing and then I realise that I am doing what I always said I wanted to do - that makes me feel much better for some odd reason that has nothing to do with the logic!
So I have"arrived" in chapter 2 - "entering the truely unknown" (no familial top cover at hand), safe as one can be living in the US and downtownish San Fran, actually committed to getting a job (with good pay and benefits of course) and getting a social life (although not my primary focus........job job job).

Meet the gang

Yes I am now in San Fran - more about that next post. Had a very lovely farewell from the Ranch with staff and their families. Enjoyed a very yummy meal and lots of gift giving.
From left is Brice, Eddie (the cowboy), Mono (all things mechnical), Mike (builder of many things), Wendy(horse girl - stables - and bunkhouse keeper), Karen, Kate (lodge and greenhouse keeper), Peter (senior ranch hand - making that up of course), me (wearing cowgirl boots that you can't see in the picture), Renee (mainhouse keeper.....although calls herself housemaid - I did try to convince her that it's all in the "branding"). Of course everyone seems to do something of everyone elses job at one time or another - well not strictly true, to the best of my knowledge none of the boys have actually physically cleaned the mainhouse (except Brice, of course, who occassionally gets pulled into the mix). Anyway I will miss them all and felt very much a part of ranch life by the time I left.
Have left behind my very lovely "yellow house" and landed in a very tiny room in downtown San Fran - life's a journey and I think I've just landed in "USA - Chapter II - San Francisco".

On the countdown

Four days to go and I'm back in the big city, staying here . Not flash but very central. Got my new resume too - very fine! Now I just have to see if it gets me an interview.
K & I have spent the last two weekends clothes shopping. It's been riotously funny, especially when I start to point out that the outfit doesn't work! It's been great fun and K is now "adjusting" clothes and generally making everything a perfect fit. Typically too we are in a shop in Albuquerque only to find one of the staff is from NZ, recently returned to the US from Christchurch (having lived overseas for years her and her husband decided to go back to NZ but after 5 years headed back here).
The one thing I haven't done is get my drivers license - stupid but bad weather and laziness combined so that, at some point, I'll have to do it in California - New Mexico would have been so much easier I feel. Oh well can't help but create some tension in life.
We are having a staff and family get together combining my farewell with two of the staffs birthdays. I really will miss them all but expect I will visit at various times!
Not much else to add at this point - snow continues to melt, calves are being born, dogs still need walking and I've almost finished painting the greenhouse (with some much welcome help from Renee and Kate).

Farewell el rancho

The plan! I am heading to San Fran on 1 March. At this stage I am going to stay in a hotel for a month on a monthly rental. It's right in the centre of San Fran so very convenient. I'll then look for a permanent rental/lease and work. K & B head to NZ on the 6th so it all works well.
Karen and Eve have put me in touch with a friend of theirs in San Fran who I have swapped a couple of emails with. She is very warm and welcoming so that's a nice start to meeting new people. I've also got a couple of other people to catch up with (or meet for the first time), including Michelle who is back in Santa Cruz - ain't life funny!
I will really miss the ranch. I've been here 5 months and feel very much a part of the community. Everyone has been fab to me and I've enjoyed playing ranch hand. We finished painting the bunkhouse last week and my final task is to paint the inside of the glasshouse (before you ask........no not the glass, the work area) and that's all set up to go next week. I've had some lovely times working with the staff at various times and also had some very wise counsel on life. K & B have been fantastically supportive and it's been lovely to spend some quality time with them, see their lives and have them generally ease me into life in the USA.
Today K is taking me on a big shopping spree. Yes I have steeled myself to spend a whole day buying a new wardrobe. Next week I get a new haircut too.
Since being here I've lost over 8lbs (bragging of course), grown my hair, got my sense of humour back and feel ready to step back into the big world - my goal is to keep fit, keep the weight off and generally launch myself into whatever happens next! I guess somewhere in there I will have to get a job (I am looking forward to that too as I would quite like to find a role that involves some more travel - want it all as always).
Houghton Bay goes on the market this week and I am talking to the real estate agent about the Dunedin properties so, all going well, that side of life will be wound up in the next two months. Having the cash in the bank will open up a whole new set of choices and I am already thinking about that........