Been sick, still sick

Throwing up a few photos of runnin Lake Tahoe before the big race:
















That's all I got today

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How life runs

This past weekend I was in Tahoe with Katy checking out the 50 miler course and running......The course is intimidating and I come out of the weekend feeling fragile.  It's the same feeling I had going into the NYC Marathon x 10.  I am unsure of my ability to complete this.  I have done the work, but not enough, never enough.....I am conscious of my imperfections.  This is a far bigger ask on many levels; it will happen overnight and into the following day, nutrition is key, I have a crew and will have to ask for their help and trust that they know when I need help (this the hardest thing of all).  Beyond my physical fitness my mental strength is strong, I am determined......but no less scared.  I am arranging it so there will be some real time blog updates.  NZ will be awake, so if you care to, you can follow the journey.  

I'll post photos of the weekend tomorrow, for now, sitting quietly in my corner.......

Labour or Labor weekend.....depends where you are living

It's a long weekend after a long week!  Long because the whole promotion thing, new role in the new project, stepping up to new things etc etc is all.....tiring (all that hugging and handshaking).  Being promoted has meant a whole bunch of interactions that I wasn't quite geared up for - you know; congratulations, responding to other people's emotional reactions, trying to figure out what it means etc etc.  It's been a little overwhelming.  You'd think at 45 I'd have more of this figured out, but I don't; I'm always bemused and confused in these moments......never really sure how they happen nor how I should respond.  I just figure I'll take The Mothers advice for about everything, keep going.
Weekend has been low key.  Lotte and Irene are in Reno - so the house is quiet.  The training plan for the ultra was harsh; 4hr run on Saturday, 5hrs on Sunday.  It's all so close now but not quite close enough. I am tired of the regime  and how it dominates my mind (did I do or not do what is required.....).  The team is in place and next weekend Katie and I head to Tahoe to check out the course.  Wow, she's been amazing, I completely trust her to get me through with Irene and Marcia, who are also being amazing.  As we head into the race I feel much like I did for the NY Marathon, emotional and fragile, fearful and certain that I can do it if I am the person I promised myself to be......
I worked some of the weekend, trying to demonstrate stepping up into my new role - right now it feels like a big life.......

Didn't see that coming.....

Been a big week and it's only Tuesday!  Performance reviews aka laddering came out this week.  Davin called me first thing Monday to let me know how I had performed......it was all good THEN he told me I had been promoted......WOW.  Ummm, seriously unexpected.  I was so shocked and surprised that I was speechless on the phone for a while and I delayed my commute to work, couldn't quite believe the promo and had to think about it for a bit.  Funny too, I had to think about who I called/texted.  I didn't want to be a jerk but so wanted to share and make sure that I shared in the right way!  This promotion is kinda big; I had thought I was about to embark on a campaign for the next year to make the jump.  I'm not sure I still really get it and it probably sounds ridiculous....but this is a big leap in a kick arse, hardcore consulting firm.  It really does mean stepping up to the "next big thing".  I am not sure why I am compelled to keep on this corporate treadmill, but I am.  I still feel very privileged to be here. I do work hard but I've also met some incredible people and some of those people have just backed me, big time.  It's a fragile world though and you are only as good as your performance today.  I'm humbled (again) by my professional life.  I'd like to do those that backed me proud - 48hrs in and the demands/expectations have changed, gotta step up!

Angel Island

I am waiting to head down to the Ferry to go for a run around Angel Island.

It's a State Park and I'm going with my new running buddy.  This is the second time we have run together  - she is training for a triathlon sprint event the weekend before my 50 miler, so she runs shorter distances.  I am going to run to the Ferry Terminal (5.5 miles) then catch the ferry and we will probably do 5 or 6 miles around the Island.

Last night I went to see Les Miserables, which is my all time favourite musical. Before the show we went to Le Colonial  for a light dinner.  Described as Vietnamese French Cuisine it was a really lovely setting, that kind of made you feel like you were in Vietnam!

It's in a slightly odd setting down an alley way but a really delightful surprise when you enter; food was great.

Work wise I am now at HP in Cupertino.  Not quite doing the change work I have been doing.........I suspect I won't stay on this particular project for long but it is good to be at a different client.  We are in a "temporary" building as HP are moving to Palo Alto.  The Campus we are currently on is going to be demolished to make way for Steve Jobs (Apples) new spaceship/donut building.....surreal.

Including some random photos that I haven't shared before.

This is how the yard looks with the rocks, it's really nice and brightens the whole area.  We are going to replace the little stool, temporarily sitting on the deck, as it's rotting away!  Irene has been adding more plants too.

From the 50k, this was how they marked the track; pegging yellow ribbons along the way.  Unbelievably useful I have to say, there was more than one tricky turn in the trail and you really don't want to be running extra miles because you went off the trail.

Another shot from San Diego.  Here you really get to see just how "southern California" it is.  It was so hot I felt like I was on a tropical island.

This from yesterday out running to Sausalito  The America's Cup is in town and I spotted the kiwi boat among the many moored.  Coming back on the ferry we got to see some of the boats out training, very cool!

Quietly watching

Photo Credit to NZDF, courtesy of stuff

I've been very quietly watching the coverage of the fallen NZ soldiers in Afghanistan.  It touches me on many levels.  During my service in Bosnia I was acutely aware that if any soldier were killed part of my job would have been to manage the media engagement (knowing full well NZ would have been at the center of it all but I would have been the person on the ground, coordinating comments from the field or commenting directly if needed).  It was a burden I felt and I frequently thought about how I might handle it,  particularly as I would have likely known, at least by sight, if not by name any soldier from the contingent involved; in the worst case it could well have been someone within my more intimate circle, thankfully it was never tested.
I was never particularly concerned about being killed while in Bosnia.  To this day if you were to ask me how I would prefer to die it would have been in service. I was very clear when I deployed that dying doing this particular job would be entirely honorable and preferable to many alternatives.  I was young, in fact a little younger than Jacinda Baker.  Seeing her photo she appeared sooooo young!  Had I ever looked that young?  Now I think on it I, perhaps, understand a little more my mothers angst and fears about my deploying (she wasn't the only one) - I really must have looked that young.  I was the only woman to serve with that contingent, if I had died it would have been a disaster.....not so much for me but the drama that would have ensued around "why woman should not serve in combat etc etc etc".  We are 18 years on and Jacinda's loss is a tragedy but the debate has not (at least as of today) deteriorated to some  ridiculousness that would have one soldier's life (a woman's) valued over another's (a man).  This is tragic and sad and the politics of it complex.  I am certain in my mind that anyone serving in the NZ Army today maintains a sense of service and knows the risks; NZ soldiers have choices about when and how they serve.......the US Army, by contrast, is a far more complex choice - many complex social, political and economic issues bring those men and women to service.  How NZ manages the loss of these soldiers will be a measure of who we are and, perhaps, a little wake up call about what wearing that particular uniform really means; it's not all ANZAC day and parades.

San Diego

Flew to SD Friday night to spend the weekend with Katy (Crazy Ironman Girl). Been having great fun. It's been ridiculously hot here! Yesterday we ran a 12 miler and it was 86 degrees, this at 9 am....good grief. We went and visited with another work pal - Kirsten & he husband. K & I first met when I was at Cisco. She worked in the wider change team. We struck up a friendship when she came onto the NetApp account. She's fun and funny and we get along well, also helping each other deal with some work stuff. After lunch by the sea with K & hubby Katy and I went car shopping for her. Test drove a Mazda crx-5 (2013). Sweet ride and perfect for Katy as she can put her bike etc in the back. Early evening we walked around the water front near her house - pretty.









Off to run a 10 miler today and see a little more of SD. Fly home early evening.


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More running schmack

The weekend is done; it was big.  Really it may not sound like much to add a few miles to a marathon, but it's big and I was a little afraid.  Trail runs are tough in a different way.  There are some simple formulas........times are easily doubled on the trail for equal distances on the road.  Different muscles come into play, you are out there for longer, your body more depleted.  Road running is a pounding slog, trail running is artful. For the first time I took salt tabs, really needed to as it was so hot.  I discovered rock mellon, water mellon and bananas are what I gravitate to (they won't get me through a 50 miler but they ease the pain). Cute moment, a very grizzled veteran of ultra's offered me some of his salt tabs at one point, reminding me they were important, he was running his second 50k in 2 weeks.....awesome; I had my own but it was sweet of him to offer.  I met some interesting characters (including a Vet......Coast Guard) and also spent big chunks of time running alone, not another soul in sight.  Thankfully the course was well marked.  The folks on the aide stations were fun and engaging and as you near the end they know you can't quite coordinate yourself, taking your water bottle and filling it up as you struggle to bring it all together.  A couple of times I had to take my shoes off, get rid of little stray pebbles (there is a clothing solution for this.....got to get on to that).  Little insight, on the 50 miler it's most likely the crew will need to help "manage me" as time goes on and tying shoelaces becomes more complex as the hours tick by.  I have a very vivid memory of my Army training, humping a pack for hours on end, stopping to rest, taking the pack off and then, as we were told to gear up, turning to my pal and telling her that if she didn't lift my pack onto my pack I wasn't going anywhere.....humbling moments, ultra's feel like that.

50k done

Finished in 6hrs 42mins. Temps in the mid 30s. Beautiful course including some tricky trails and good sized hills. Learnt alot along the way but kept well hydrated and some how figured the electrolyte stuff. Great rehearsal for the 50miler. Cool tee, not so sure about powder puff blue socks tho!




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Rock on!

Rocks got delivered on Wednesday:






Now Irene (with Lotte's supervision) gets to rock it out:





It's glamorous work:



But making things look very pretty:






Got my 50k Sunday - feeling a little nervous. It's in the East Bay so going to stay with a friend so I'm there in plenty of time to pick up my bib for a 7am start. Gonna take me some where between 7-8hrs, what are you doing this Sunday?


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Weekend update

Over the weekend we advanced a few projects. My task to lay the weed mat under Lotte's watchful eye:






Which translated into an opportunity to play:


But the task was eventually completed:






Next week Irene has the dubious honor of adding the rocks we are using to replace the wood chips that were there.
I will be watching as I am running my 50k on Sunday - lugging rocks not part of the training plan.


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Tapering.....

My 50k is two weeks away so I am tapering down the number of miles I am running per week.  It's weird going from 50+ miles down to 20-; not sure what to do with all this additional time!  I've maybe got a new running buddy, meeting on Friday to go for our first run.  She's training for her first triathlon so hopefully there is a click and more opportunities to run together.  Ran with someone else new last weekend too, that was fun.  It's not really easy to find people to run with, given I don't want to join a running group.  I am hoping at the 50k to at least talk to some other runners and start to meet people doing the sort of distances I am doing....get some good tips at the very least.
I've been following the Olympics on line - reading lots of the background stories of the athletes.  Hard to imagine the sacrifices every competitor has made to get there.  Kiwis seem to be doing alright, although I'm not sure what the expectations were going in.

The love of a pet

In the scheme of life my family are kinda crap at really demonstrating love for one another.  While we do front up in times of crisis and we quietly demonstrate care, we aren't that demonstrative to one another......but we love love love our pets, both adopted and our own.

Ra (the Princess) is gone and I'm so sad, not just for me but because I know Bidwill Street is sad.  Stinky, rumply thing with a lot of attitude  (oh wait, I think I just described my entire family.....but she was the only blonde).

Blew off the SF Half Marathon

Yesterday I went running in the hills of Oakland with a friend - turns out the route she chose is actually part of my upcoming 50k so gave me a taste of what to expect (heat being a key ingredient!).  Afterwards we sat and had a coffee; it was nice to have a running buddy as I seldom get to run with others these days.
Today I was supposed to run the SF Half.  Back story, I originally registered for the Full Marathon then, several weeks back decided to do the 50k.  Timing had it that I am actually starting my tapper towards to 50k in two weeks time so no way could I do the marathon then expect to do the 50k so I thought I would switch to the half.  Long story short, as I started to figure out getting to and from the race it all go complicated.  Finally it came down to "do I really need to get up at 430am in the morning to go run a half marathon?????".  Well the answer fairly quickly became NO.  Instead I got up at a civilized 8am and went and ran 10 miles (which was actually on the plan anyway).  So no race, but I did get the tee shirt (SF Marathon Tees are the best!).
Still not on a project.  It really is getting boring.  Bunch of stuff in the pipeline but need it to come through - it does unnerve me a little I have to say.  Got to trust the process and the partner who is driving this stuff that it will all work out in the end.
Nothing much else - counting down to 50k!

Nothing much is happening

I'm running a lot and waiting for my next project.  Running a lot translates into 50m/80km a week - I like it.  I've signed on for various "races" but suspect everyone is pretty bored with my talking about it so won't over share, check out Future Challenges.  Not having a project is proving to be deadly dull (although I'm assured by others this is "the best" time).    I kind of hate it - I'm not used to doing "nothing".
I ran the Marin Headlands again on Saturday.  OMG, it was tough and I beat my last time by all of 1 min.  It was so hot......warm water, bleech.  But I made it last for the full 26 miles (this I failed last time, running out 2 miles before the end, bad bad bad).  My body felt wrecked.  It's so much harder to run in the heat (don't get me wrong, I've looked at the Arctic races too, it's not like they are "easy").  This was tough though as I'm experimenting with different foods.  I have to run twice that for the 50m and need to eat along the way.  This is tough.  Irene is being very hardcore with me about getting my nutrition right.  She's part of my support crew for the 50 miler and she has a much better sense of nutrition.  I'm working on it........

Chugging along

I spent the weekend at a friends beach house near Santa Cruz. Met some new peeps and got two beach runs in! Had great fun and go to watch the dolphins feed/play.
Last week Irene and I went to this very cool garden shop; saw this



Plants available were real cool. Irene has a garden project, removing all the bark chips and laying down stones (that's where I come in!). Adding some new plants too.


All a work in progress, including replacing some rotting boards.
Been doing some little house things too, adding lamps and art to the dining - coming together nicely.


I've also been organizing for the 50 miler. Sadly Michelle can no longer commit to being support crew (have to provide you own support for the first 46 miles), so now it will be Katy, Irene and Marcia - so all still good. Without the crew I can't do the run so I'm really grateful that folk do what they can....they'll be awake as long as I am and will have their own boredom to deal with - remembering this starts at 10pm at night and will take me between 12 & 15hrs; it's a big ask! I've hired a mini van so plenty of room for gear etc. All starts to feel real.....and really not that long to go.
Have my 50k in four weeks time so that will be a test too and a good opportunity to learn some stuff. It's a trail run so, all going well I am hoping for something shy of 7hrs - 8hrs is the cut off. It doesn't sound much more than a marathon but it's all in the pacing and the degree of difficulty of the course - might be a very steep learning curve.


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Clocking the miles!

Big weekend for me, running wise.  Marathon's are now the new "long run" for the training plan.  I decided that for my 26 miler I would head into the Marin Headlands - it's kind of hard to map a 26 mile run in a city that is 7 x 7 miles.  Thinking I was being clever (yes we know how that usually turns out). I tapped into the North Face Challenge Marathon route.  The first part of the  marathon route is actually the 10k I ran in 2009......my first race.  It was all very vivid in my mind as I contemplated how far the last few years had taken me.  The marathon route is hardcore, here's the Garmin view:

But the real telling point has to be the elevation chart below.  If you think my best marathon is 4:31hrs on the road, this took me a little over 6hrs!

I gotta say though the whole thing was beautiful:

Climbing through the mist                 

 Finally reaching the top

Dropping down to sea level, to climb again

 Heading down to the beach

 Some stairs to help along the way

And the trail leading me back to my car

It was great fun and tough and I felt very very happy, exhausted and elated at the end! Best of all - Irene (rightly) realized that I hadn't actually planned my dinner post the "marathon" so arrived down to mine with some yummy salmon, salad and potatoes (nothing ever tasted so good!).  No rest for the wicked though, today I had to follow it all up with a 10miler, kind of felt like a relief to "only" have to do 10!

I am still on the bench for work so last week did some training and went to a pool party for the 4th of July - low key.  Best thing though, I have a new career counsellor for work.  Mine is leaving so it's the perfect opportunity to switch to Davin, who recruited me to ACN.  Very happy!!!!

Not the food of champions

But despite consuming meatballs and fries I was able to run the planned 10 miles......which doesn't detract from the poor nutritional choice!  So notable in fact that Irene decided to capture the moment.  It was kind of yummy and kind of disgusting; entirely driven by Irene and I taking a trip to Ikea (the BIG store that has just about every household item you could possibly want, all carefully designed my Swedish folk).  The food court offers a range of goodies - none of it that good but edible enough.

Times they are a changing

Friday was my last day on the NetApp project.  It's been 17 months and it will be very strange not to go into the office on Monday.  I've had such a great time with this team and have learnt a huge amount.  Two years into my time with ACN and I feel like I have started to "get it".  There is a lot of discussion about the challenges of bringing in experienced hires i.e. folks not recruited straight out of college.  It gets more challenging the older the hire.  I know a lot of EH that haven't made the jump.  Honestly I've swung in roundabouts myself at times.  I think two things really helped a. I had a very clear view of what I wanted to get out of ACN and b. landing good projects with good people.  That said, I really need to get promoted next year or it's time to move on - it's an up or out culture so in terms of the ACN career path next year is do or die for me.  I've been pondering what I'd do if it does prove that I need to move on.  6 years on from arriving in the US I feel much more confident about the choices I have and the opportunities out there.  With the ACN move I opened up a second career path in Change Management, although it's clear to me that the Communications work remains my bread and butter; my love/hate relationship with it remains alive and well, but, at the end of the day, I am good at it and have some good solid skills that are very marketable.  As always, we shall see.
Currently I am "on the bench".  As we roll off projects we go to the bench to wait for a project to come up and/or proactively apply for open roles that are posted by our HR folk.  Demand is high so finding a role isn't the issue, finding the right role is.  We are still waiting to hear about the job we pitched for so right now I am not being put forward for other roles or applying for them.  Being on the bench offers time to do some additional training and is downtime away from the client facing work.  Definitely don't want to hang out here too long though, that's not good either.  Patience patience patience - the right thing will show up.
Training is going well, with my 50k coming in August.  That will be a good test of my fitness.  10m/16k have become easy training runs (almost a day of rest..... seriously, who would have thought).  Starting next Saturday the marathon distance will be the new "long training run" with the program having me run the equivalent of that distance every second week.....followed by a 10 miler the next day.  I think at my peak in the 50k training plan I am running a total of 52m/83k a week - that's a lot of running.  Although I still only run five times a week (okay as I write that does sound a lot - it's now just become the normal thing to do, at least in my mind).

New Toy

I just bought a Garmin Forerunner 910XT.  It's way over specced for me and is really designed for the Ironman/Tri folk - measure all that swimming/biking stuff.  It's the latest fancy gadget (yeah, that title usually lasts about a week).  The main reason I bought it was because of the battery life, a whopping 20hrs.  Although I bet that doesn't apply when the GPS is on.  Now I am doing longer runs the battery life on my old Garmin isn't long enough.....seems at 5hrs it becomes somewhat unhappy so I did some research and kept coming back to this.  Best thing is I have used some rewards/recognition points I have accumulated with ACN, so it almost feels like I am getting it for free!  Can't wait for it to arrive in the mail.  I am going to try and actually learn all the relevant features this time so I get my money's worth.
Yesterday I ran 24miles/39km.  I completed the same run I did a few weeks back when I posted pictures.  I took a chunk of time off my previous run, I think because I actually paced myself better through it and had a better understanding of where I was going.  Unfortunately the bladder in my hydration vest sprung a leak - I didn't lose all my water but had very soggy shorts as it slowly dripped away.  The run itself is incredibly beautiful and really can't beat San Francisco on a good day.
This weekend is Gay Pride and I haven't really done anything.  Irene and I went to watch the Dyke March; best part being Dykes on bikes taking off at the start.  There were hundreds and hundreds of people so it was fun to watch.  Glad I was marching though (anyone can join in) as I was a little weary after my run.
Next week is my last week on my project and I still don't know if we got the other job yet.  It will be strange to leave everyone behind and the routines I have created (particularly running after work around the water treatment station).  I guess I will just have to create new routines.

ACN Prom

Notwithstanding running 24 miles on Saturday I got all glammed up and went to the ACN Prom!



Meet the girls and one boy (photo bomb!). Event was at City Hall and very stylie. Three halls; string quartet down the stairway in one, jazz band in another and dancing in the third. Excellent food too and fun pre.party (where photo was taken). About 1100 peeps so no small affair. It was fun!


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On the run

Tried posting this yesterday but had some technology challenges! Went for a 24 mile road, trail, beach run. Weather was gorgeous, took some photos.












Gotta go run 10 today...


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2 Year Anniversary

Yesterday was my 2 year anniversary for joining ACN - wow, where did that time go?  I've had my ups and downs with joining such a large organization with so many well established traditions and such a strong culture!  That said, I really do like the people and I've learnt a huge amount.  I am looking at rolling off my current roll at the end of this month, so moving to a new project will be like starting a new job (we all know how much I like to do that....).  We have a client presentation for the proposal next week so, if we win that, that's most likely where I will go.  I will really miss my current team and the client - it's been a challenging role at times but I've really like the people.  The team are great fun, but folks move on, I am just one of many.
This weekend we have our "Prom"; swanky party they have at City hall.  It's for ACN Northern California folk so I think over 1000 people will attend.  Everyone will be all flashed up.  I am sort of looking forward to it and sort of nervous.  I think I'll mostly enjoy the pre-event gathering as it will be small and with folks I know.  Not sure how the bigger event will go, although I will know at least some people there. We shall see we shall see we shall see.

Fairly dull week, ending on a fun note

Week was a little dull, until Friday.  Best part of the week, Katy (Crazy Ironman Girl) was in San Fran for training on Friday and stayed over at mine Friday night and through Saturday.  Funny adventures were had as she lost her i-phone in the cab Friday morning. Several frantic instant messages later (we have IM on our work laptops) saw me heading down to the main office of the cab company lost and found (about 10mins from my house as it turned out)....this an adventure into a world I clearly wouldn't want to be part of on a regular basis.  Long story short, cabs are housed in a huge carpark behind two barrier arms; park outside and walk in to be confronted with the "grave yard" of taxis that have been in some pretty major smashes! Gruesomely cool to check it out thought. Look across a big parking lot  and still see no sign of anything resembling an office.  Look again to check where all the random bodies might be walking to....walk that way, still no signage to let me know where, exactly, I should be going.  Finally hit a building and look for signage, nada, nothing, zilch.  Give up and ask some random woman standing outside a door.  She sends me inside, upstairs (still no signs) into some kind of office area with a waiting room and a service window.  Random guy in waiting room asks me what I need, I start to speak and the famous "glazed" look comes across his face i.e. clearly does not understand my accent ay ay ay - here we go.  Anyway finally get to the guy behind the window, describe the phone and give the cab number.  He pulls one out and asks what the wallpaper shot is....OMG, I have no idea.  He shows it to me and it's some grid iron team - well Katy isn't exactly a GI girl, as far as I know and I most definitely don't know the security code so I have to say "hmmm, not sure".  Seriously it could have been someone else's phone for sure.  Long story short I end up calling her phone from mine to prove I know her.....he finally decides I'm good to take it and phone is secure (much to Katy's relief.).
Friday night me, Katy and Monica went to BlowFish for the most awesome Sushi and catching up.  Saturday Katy and I go on a 10 mile run (yayayayayaya to having my running buddy back) and then Irene, Katy and I go to our local cafe for lunch before Katy and I go to Sports Basement to spend lots of money on sporty type things.  It's been great to catch up with her again and Monica and I think we will head to San Diego  (where Katy lives) for the 4th of July.
Sweet little Henri is also staying so Irene on doggie watch and I'm the tag along.  Lotte is so sweet with Henri and plays with him - very cute to watch.