El Rancho

I am heading off to the ranch next week for 10 days. It is Peter's 80th on the 4th so I am really looking forward to seeing everyone. I'm staying on longer as K&B are away and won't be back for the first week and I'd like to see them - it's not like I have a job here! I'll write while I'm there (maybe do some chores too) and start to finalise stuff to send to the publishers.........now that will be a big turning point. I'm going to stay in the yellow house so it's all very familiar. Given it's now summer there won't be any snow but it is hot. It will be lovely to walk the dogs again - sadly Khanie died a few weeks ago - she'd had a really long life given her breed but it made me a little sad, she had such a lovely temperament.
Having spent a good day writing on Thursday I went down to the beach on Friday. It's very close to where I live and the weather has been fantastic. I am sporting a very healthy tan. I wasn't at all tempted to go swimming though - the water is freezing. Generally I'm feeling pretty laid back, although starting to have twinges of nervousness about the publishers! I guess this just proves I haven't gone completely off the rails..........given it's almost a year since I worked.
I've also been thinking about what happens after the book. I'm 100% committed to staying in the US so that part is easy. I've got some ideas and expect life will roll out as it's meant too - with a little shove or two from me of course.
My flatmates finished University for the year so we have spent a bit more time together. It's been nice getting to know her and, because she is an artist and writer (poetry I think), she is very supportive of the writing process. Oh she also proved to be very useful when, despite my best efforts, I simply couldn't get an automated voice machine to understand my accent! I was trying to change flights and had to call. Everything was voice activated and I couldn't even get the machine to understand my name and there's no way to by-pass (I've had that problem before and last time K helped!) so I got Margaretha to talk me through until I could actually speak to a person. I need to work on my American accent.
I've started to meet a few more people, including a Bosnian woman........we have been talking about the war - I had even driven through the small town she lived in, although she wasn't actually in Bosnia when the war started. It's been interesting to hear about how she felt about the war and peacekeepers. Funny coincidence to have met her at this stage.

My personal fav

P!nk - Dear Mr. President Offical Video.
Can anyone tell that I am busy surfing You Tube!

On the campaign trail

Anyone got a crush on Helen C or John K then?

Bereft

Okay not quite. Michelle and Ruth are back in NZ. We have had a fantastic two weeks. It really was lots of fun to have the three of us celebrating and we were easy travelling companions. Went off to the only queer nightclub last Saturday.......it was someone's 30th and, well, the place just rocked. In the interests of being my "new self" I even had a dance or two. We ended up walking home in the small hours - not so bad for me as I was the first house on the list. We also went down to the Boardwalk by the sea and had a ride on the roller coasters and went to a restaurant on the wharf. All very nice. Michelle drove us up into the Santa Cruz Mountains (which are full of red wood trees, I think, big and tall anyway) for a wine tasting on Sunday. Very pleasant it was. Went to one vineyard and they had a special tasting of their award winning Pinot Noir - yummy and unexpected. For the last night we got Michelle's flattie and all went off to the local wine bar I went to on my first night. It was fun and there was lots of laughter.
I am just trying to organise going to the Ranch for Peter's birthday on the 4th of July. It's his 80th and, like all birthdays, they only come around once so I really want to go. It will be lovely to see everyone at the Ranch too. K & B won't be there on the day but will be back on the ranch on the 5th, so I'll stay on a few days and catch up with them too.
It's a hard life being me!

Three cheers for Dr E!

We've spent the last week celebrating Michelle getting her Phd.........she is now officially a Dr of Philosophy. Because we can't do these things by half we started in Las Vagas. M and I got to LV on Monday afternoon and Ruth arrived about two hours later. It was lovely to see her! We all shared a room (M kindly provided the earplugs but somehow we all managed). During the day we lounged by the pool (complete with buckets of beer). There are five or six pools in the MGM and one of them is set up like a winding river - complete with current. Temperatures got as high as 100F so it was hot as but lovely to sit in the shade. During the evenings we wandered around looking at the lights etc etc etc, including going out for at least two fantastic dinners. Did some gambling, not much, but I did manage to make $100 off $2 from the pokie machine - we weren't really big on the gambling thing.

Got back to SC on Thursday and went to M's graduation ceremony on Friday. It was fab - laid out on sportsfields you look out to the sea. Not a lot of ceremony to it - laid back and very personal as there are so few graduating with Phds. No national anthem either - sound track from the opening credits to paramount (or Warner) movies and star wars while faculty and graduates parade through the seating. Aftwards we went back to Ms where she had a few friends over, sat around, ate mexican food and generally toasted the day. M also had a "Pricess Cake" specially dressed just for her.

It's none of my business but...

I'm sitting in a cafe, writing, it's what the students do here - free internet and probably nicer than most of the houses they live in (mine too) - not the point. I’ve just overheard someone in a café commenting that “maybe it’s un-American not to care” – she is joking and I don’t know what she was talking about but it’s a testament to the power of US culture. Have you ever heard a kiwi say it would be un-kiwi or “unpatriotic” to do or say anything?

Gay Pride

On Sunday Michelle and I headed off to the gay pride march and festivities. It was a fab day. Predictably the boys really did turn out in the most fantastic outfits. Athough I did think Obama might have been amused to see his name on the butt of one of the roller girls!
Being Santa Cruz all shapes, sizes and political persuasions were represented. Dykes on Bikes lead the parade (of course, somethings stay the same no matter where you are) and we both loved the Latino dancers - a rare sight M tells me. We stood across from the only gay bar in SC (at least they have one) so
we not only got to watch the parade but the crowd as well. My favourte character of all (and she wasn't in the parade) had to be the Paris Hilton girl.........do you think it's rude to take photos of random people? In case it's not immediately obvious, that is a little dog in her purse. After the parade we wandered into the park where there were a whole bunch of tents selling stuff and promoting various political activities. There was a stage and a series of live performances as well. The SF Cheerleaders (boys and girls) were a hit as they tossed people in the air and generally showed disgusting amounts of energy given the heat of the day. The park was alcohol and smoke free so it was very laid back. I checked it out and SC is about the size of Nelson and probably has a similar type of community - although the University adds a dimension that Nelson doesn't have. Aging hippies sit easily with the more youthful variety. There's also a big mixture of homeless people with quite a large chunk in their late teens or early twenties. Mostly they are pleasant enough and it all just comes with the territory.
Monday we head to LV for the long anticipated trip. Ruth is flying in from NZ and it will be really nice to see her. She's coming back to SC for Michelle's grad as well (although she's been here before). Then her and M head back to NZ.
I'm still enjoying the writing and have had my "first reading" - which has given me some really useful feedback and I seem to be on the right track. I might actually pull this whole thing off! No idea what I will do once the book is done, I guess it will become clear and I am surprisingly nonplussed about it. It could be this lack of a job (and all the stress that goes with it) suits me. Mostly it's had me realise just how exhausted I was when I arrived in the US. I really was at the end of my energy and in desperate need of down time. I am "a pig in muck" - on ocassion I pop out of the pen (or the cave), look around, sniff the air then head right back in again...........I think I'll just follow my instincts for now and see where theylead me!

Ticking along

So "we" have handed on "our" phd - although only one of us actually wrote it and will be called a Doctor at the end. Oh well I guess you don't just get handed these things for being a good person, apparently it does require a little more effort. Mostly being with M is what the last few weeks have been all about. We had a little party on Friday with the two of us and her flattie, Judith, to celebrate. Judith runs her own business doing "body work" - I can tell you all the things its not (massage, chiropractic etc) but maybe not what it is. Since I left the ranch I've had a really painful shoulder. Kind of stiff and just not coming right. Went to Judith and wow - I am 100% better and it was the most gentle process ever. She's amazingly skilled and you almost don't realise anything is happening at all. Not quite but it certainly left me much more aware of just where I do have aches and pains (protecting that gimpy leg takes up a lot of my time so I almost forget the rest of me). I've also been writing too which has been very good. Aiming to get "something" to the publishers to look at in July..........then of course they have to say it's fab and we want you, sign a contract and.......then I need to finish writing the rest of it. Both M and the new flattie have convinced me that I shouldn't find work until Autumn and spend the summer writing. Now that hasn't been hard to agree to! On the countdown to LV and I am making sure to save all my quarters, being the high roller that I am. Now here's a movie worth seeing The War Tapes: Armed with minicams mounted on their gun turrets, helmets and dashboards, three National Guardsmen capture an unprecedented perspective of the Iraq war in this powerful documentary culled from more than 1,000 hours of footage. Deftly interlaced with harrowing film of ambushes, explosions and severed limbs are the soldiers' complex reactions to the conflict and interviews with the women they left behind.
I'd never heard of it but the flattie had so we got it via Netflix, which is this very cool system where you sign on and order DVDs on line, they are posted to you, no late fees and you send them back using a return envelop. You can also watch a heap of movies on line as well......... But back to WT - it really is quite startling to see how they all change during their 12 month deployment. Quite graphic in places, gives you a real sense of what it must be like. It was filmed in 2004 - I bet they wouldn't let them do it now.

You know you've landed when.....

a. You go out and buy sheets, towels and sundry other items that make for a home
b. You not only remember your street address but your zip code as well
c. You boldly change your Amazon postal address, sure that you will still be here when the book arrives
d. You commit to buying a dryer for the flat (nothing else is yours, the flat really needs one and you need to start getting a credit rating) and your flat mate is delighted
e. The cat sleeps with you at least some of the night
f. You say things like "I'm heading home"
g. Your shelf in the fridge is full and you have your very own cupboard
h. You, who never does these things, has continued to put a little bunch of flowers, picked from the garden, on your dresser draw, just 'cos it looks nice
i. .............you really start to believe in a future, in this town, doing something you love

Viva Las Vegas and stuff

My second week in SC and I am happily settled in my new home. It could be life is just a series of coincidences but in the strangest twist of all it turns out my flattie (from here on in known as M) is doing her Masters in Fine Arts focusing on how new media facilitates everyone participating in the military – or something along those lines. We've only had a quick conversation but I couldn’t believe it given she didn’t know what my book was about; guess there’s a certain sense of serendipity. I’ve started a new blog too. It’s all about the process of writing the book. Really it’s my own rambling thoughts about some stuff so if you’re not into the writing thing best to ignore it. There’s a link on the right for those that care. I’ll keep going with nzalien focusing on “life in general”.
I’ve spent the last week supporting Michelle while she writes her Phd. Mostly just being here, getting her fed and generally reminding her that “this too shall pass”. I, of course, have a vested interest as we have booked ourselves on a cheapee deal to Las Vegas for three days/four nights staying at the MGM Grand on the strip to celebrate. We leave on 11 June through 14 June – yeeha. Neither of us are gamblers (except to sit at the pokies and get free drinks) but both like the spa thing. We’ve both been before so can skip some things and know what to expect. Day after we get back is Michelle’s actual graduation. Wow! Following week she heads back to NZ…….which also means she will be able to get some of the info I need for the book and post it back. ‘tis all falling into place.
I’m not going to look for anything resembling a job until after LV. I’m now riding around on Michelle’s bike – remember keep right look left. Toying with the idea of getting a motorbike as well. I expect this will complete my “mid-life crisis”. Not much point having a car in SC, buses are good and you can walk to most places but a bike would be good to get to some of the areas further out and, well, it just might be fun.

Happy daze

I have had a remarkable 48 hrs. First and most importantly - I have a home. I arrived to find a lovely note from my new flattie, a little bunch of flowers in my room and a very warm and friendly "goldfish" (ginger cat, who was happily lounging on my bed when I arrived). The cottage is small but sweet and Margaretha has lots of flowers and plants around. It's not at all flash but genuinely cosy with very lovely arty touches. My room will be a wonderful place to write and the house and the neighbourhood I live in mostly smells of roses and gypsophila with a mixture of truely rustic and highly cultivated gardens. The smells remind me of holidays in Central Otago and nana's house (which always smelt of some flower or another). It has also been incredibly warm here (around 23 but really humid).

The B&B I stayed in was full of people transitioning or changing their lives - or at least those were the ones I met. Everyone I chatted to was optimistic, full of enthusiasm for the day and all genuinely interested in each others success. I met a woman from NY who has spent years in marketing/sales/advertising and has come to SC to see if she wants to stay. Like me she has been on the move for several months and also doesn't want to go back to her corporate life. It's very inspiring to meet other people who have also stepped outside their comfort zone to discover new things. Even as people told their stories no one needed nor wanted to dwell on anything other that the optimism of their choices..........there's a book in there! Everyone was very enthusiastic about my book and I am going to start a data base of people (okay so I have two names) and invite them on the journey with me.........hopefully they will also want to read the book. I think too I will start a separate blog that is simply about the book.

The other big marker of the day is that we have sold all the houses. I have such a sense of relief. Managing things from afar and having to ask friends/family to do most of the leg work for me isn't ideal. Still I can't believe how my life has changed in the last 9 months and that I have arrived at this point; full of hope, optimism, excitment and possibility.

Reflections

It’s a strange world to be living in two places. Daily I am here, in SC, enjoying all the things it brings to me. Everything about being here is entirely manageable. I can walk the town – I like that – it is near the sea – I like that a lot – it is full of creative, eccentric, odd and genuinely engaging people – I remind myself to be present. Then I inhabit another world, the past. As I write I am thrown back in time. I am trying to capture not only the facts but the feeling - to convey something meaningful. I like writing. It has surprised me how much I like it. I am also surprisingly fearless in the things I say. I name people, some will be unhappy with how I describe my experience of them…….but it’s my experience. Some will disagree with how I remember things. Some will agree. But I don’t care – I’ve reached a point where I really don’t care. It is my story, as I would have it told. It’s not angry, mad, sad or bad. At least I don’t think it is – my “ghost editor” will keep me honest. When it is timely she will tell me if what I think I am doing is what I am actually doing.
What I think (and hope) is that it is genuinely interesting and thought provoking. At best it’s a good yarn, at better than best women who have served will read it and parts will resonate – that’s what I really care about – anything else is background. I have a single-minded determination to have this book published. I have only just realised that no other NZ women soldier (sailor nor air force personnel) has ever written their story. Why not?

Of first nights and wine flights

I have had the most amazingly wonderful week. The B&B, minus breakfast but with a kitchen we can cook in, is every bit as beautiful as promised. Lovely lovely lovely. I have really enjoyed cooking for myself again and the luxury of it all.
To celebrate just being here Michelle and I went to a local wine bar on my first night. They have this thing called a “wine flight” – we ended up drinking three glasses of the most amazingly surprisingly lovely wine from Slovenia and eating some very lovely snackeriles. It’s the most indulgent I’ve been since leaving el rancho – which was mostly indulgent.
Post that I’ve been looking for a place to live. I went and looked at the most lovely room – had everything I thought I wanted etc etc etc (with flatties – two guys). Then unexpectedly another place came up and I went to this cottage behind an old villa.- guy in front (landlord) just collects stuff……….I mean stuff………. it’s like Stepto and Son. But met this fab woman who is doing her masters at the University of SC (fine arts, digital media, I think she also does creative writing), has a ginger cat called Goldfish and it all just feels right. The room is much smaller than the first one I looked at, not glamorous, got a bed and a desk and some draws (really it matters in that order), no TV but wireless (Telecom should be shot) and cheap as chips in the scheme of things……….are we seeing a theme? I think it will be a very happy place to live so I’ve agreed to move in on Tuesday when my time at the B&B ends.
Michelle is also about 2 seconds from handing in her dissertation (after 8 years as a doctoral student it looks to me like the most torturous thing in the world to actually complete the writing process!). Given my own personal obsession and admiration for anyone that works hard and is focused on there dreams it’s a wonderful privilege to be here. In a bit of mutual support I walk over to Michelle’s every day (1 hour each way, although it will only be 20mins from the new place) we each work in our own worlds for a minimum of 4 hours. Of course the pay off for me is that it get to see more of her, hear about what she is writing and share some of my writing ideas too. And of course we just get to chat at the end. Sometimes I write the book sometimes I don’t. It works. I am liking being in SC and it just seems to keep going “do the right thing the right thing happens”.

New beginnings - Chapter 4

Head off to Santa Cruz tomorrow - yay I am ready to go. As was pointed out to me Cable Court Hotel is one of those "tipping points". I've watched people come, go and stay. Apart from some of the long standing tenants (upwards of 10 years) this is a staging point for people. Some people arrive with no plan whatsoever and arn't even sure if they can pay the next weeks rent. It's the oddest thing when I think about what it must be like to find yourself "homeless" and arriving here, with no idea what happens next and no visible means of support. Some people, like me I guess, are clearly moving on to something - even if we don't know what it is. Last night I spoke to a guy from Romania who has arrived here with his wife, having won his greencard in the lottery. They've only been here three weeks so haven't got their greencard yet and yes, are about as nervous about it as I was - it's not really real until the card actually arrives. We had a nice chat about NZ and Romania and the weirdness of the US. They are looking for accommodation but not finding it easy. He was worried about his english not being very good - I thought it was very good myself but it's definitely tougher if english is your second language. The whole immigration thing is big here - although San Fran calls itself a "sanctuary city" and refuses to allow it's officials to co-operate with the immigration service in raiding neighbourhoods, which they have started doing. It's an ugly situation as you have parents who are illegals but their children are US citizens - can't see any sign that there's anything like a descent policy approach emerging - in some cases the parents are gone and the kids end up with family or friends!
On the housing front I'm going to meet with some people on Wednesday who have a room for subletting for eight months starting 1 June. They sound like very cool people (well based on the email exchange). Older and, I think, at least two of them are European, not sure about the third. What makes it nice is the room I am looking at has a bathroom attached - I like that. We'll see and I guess I'll have to go through the dreaded "are you queer friendly" conversation - some of the ads for people actually say it out right. I'd be surprised if they're not but if it doesn't become obvious I guess I'll have to ask.........

ANZAC Day and writing books

No dawn service for me this year so I hunted around to see if there was anything happening in SF for ANZAC Day. Yup, about 2 minutes up the road at Grace Cathedral. It was lovely. There were around 150/200 people there. Mostly Aussies and Kiwis but some Americans too. They even had poppies to give away. Real highlight had to be the Australian Girls Choir singing the NZ National Athem in english and Maori! We also sang the American National Athem - which is a first for me and had a bugler do the Last Post. It was very strange to be surrounded by NZ/Aussie accents.

I'm not a big church goer (ie never go.......except as a tourist) but Grace Cathedral is a SF icon. People of all backgrounds are welcome and they conduct same-sex "unions" (best not use the M word). It also has an AIDs interfaith chapel that includes an alterpiece created by Keith Haring weeks before he died of AIDs. It's also where I walked the Labyrinth. Which, to be honest, I didn't know much about until I picked up the flyer inside the church. Very interesting history and the Cathedral has a project focused on introducing people to the philosophies behind the labyrinth.
More chirpy news - 3 publishers have come back and said they are interested in the book! I so forgot how small NZ is as I hadn't expected to get responses from my email so quickly. At least 2 are interested in seeing a manuscript.....now. A tad early but one is happy to see a sample chapter sooner rather than later. Wow - I'm taking it as a sign that as I start to do the right things the right things start to happen. Now I just need a place to live and some form of income (I have some ideas for that........not including wearing a suit).

I leave here for Santa Cruz on the 30th. I have indulged a bit and booked myself into a lovely little B&B for my first week. It's very very self indulgent and does mean I really do need to focus on getting a sublet for the summer. I haven't been spending much money in SF (doing all the free stuff) so this is my reward. I have a wonderful sense of new beginnings.

Cruz'n

End of the month and I am off to sunny Santa Cruz. Just back from a weekend with Michelle, seeing the Cowboy Junkies and doing "inside Santa Cruz". Sealed the deal really. It's a vibrant friendly little town. A mixture of old hippie, laid back muso and activist students. It has a real sense of creativity about it. Job opportunities vary. I am heading into summer so there a quite a few cheap sublets around for rent. Anyway I am wildly excited about the whole thing and the hotel I am in have agreed I can go at the end of the month (usually give 30 days notice) so it all falls into place. Michelle's also very kindly offered to come pick me up in a car so I don't have to go via Greyhound bus...........now that's a bonus. It's only 2.5hrs by bus and $13 but I have a few bags - this makes it all much easier. Am wildly excited by the whole thing. Michelle is around until mid June, and deeply emersed in finishing her Phd so although I will only get to see her occassionally it does mean I will have settled before she heads back to NZ.

Book writing is going well - I think. I have one chapter, the bones of another and am working through the introduction. It was obviously meant to be as the words just flow. Some days I think it's rubbish other days I like it. I am about to send out my first round of letters to publishers too. I am trying to get ahead with the writing so that if (ha!) they actually want to see a sample chapter, I have one.

I think we've all but finished selling houses (one to go unconditional) - should all be over within the next two months. It is, finally, starting to feel all very tidy and clean. Selling things off (including a lot of my personal belongings) has created this lovely empty space for me to do other things. In case any of you do wonder - I do feel very previlleged to be here right now and to have the space to pursue something entirely new. Could it be that I am actually about to give up Corporate life?..................well more importantly it appears I have!

Burning down the house

Not quite, but last night was very exciting as we had a fire alarm. Went off at around 9pm so not as bad as it could have been. Fortunately I am on the ground floor - about ten steps from the front door. Interesting to realise your life amounts to making sure you are dressed, grabbing your laptop, official documents, cellphone and wallet. People were pretty frecked out and I'm not convinced everyone left the buildings. Still fire engines arrived complete with two female firefighters! Cool! Nothing came of it.

I am reading this book. I haven't finished it yet but it is very interesting. It's the memoir of the Commanding General of Abu Ghraib. I came to the book with my own set of prejudices. As I read her story, as she tells it, I have tremendous admiration for her. While she demonstrated a failure of leadership – her soldiers staffed the prison but overall responsibility for the prison rested with the intelligence people – I don’t believe she either fostered, encouraged nor ever believed any of her soldiers would behave like this.
She was, in reality, responsible for setting up an entire prison system through Southern Iraq. A logistical nightmare and resulting in her being spread very thin with few resources. Early on she also had concerns about having military police personnel become prison wardens, recognising they didn’t have the skills. Still she was an A-typical soldier, committed to the mission and potentially not vocal enough about the real risks in the way the whole system was being set up.

She is mightily guilty of working hard on the wrong things and being out of touch. That, in my view, is not nearly the same as actively fostering nor encouraging the abuses that occurred. Equally too she takes ownership of this and, in quite a frontal way, challenges the systemic and gendered politics that had her singled out early on. While others, who had more decision making power than her were not. That may seem trite but she explains how she heard about the photographs and how her immediate boss behaved………..these are not things the media readily report but her dialogue is very compelling and at no point does she say she doesn’t have some accountability in the whole episode………….what she does introduce is an interesting and slightly reluctant view that gender played a huge part in how the system chose to manage her situation.
Things that never came out about Janis Karpinski are that she was a pioneer throughout her career including setting up and spending five years training women to work as part of the United Arab Emerites Armed Services. She was very much a believer in the system, although always recognised that being a women in the armed services made her different and experienced all the attendant abuses, both physical and emotional.
Nothing excuses what happened but I have always felt deeply disturbed that so few in the command structure were held accountable and I remain disturbed – Kaprinski’s paid the price but there is much more to this story yet to be told.
She does offer some candid insights into her entire 25 year military career as well – I am finding the style of the book (it has been written by a journalist, using her voice) very readable.

Rambling

In the interests of getting some real exercise and fresh air I decided to head off on my Golden Gate Park adventure, which the first time had lead me to the Presidio. GGP is closer to our idea of the gardens. All up it was 5 hours and about a 6mile or 10km round trip. I am always loathe to get on public transport and, to date, haven’t – I blame my mother and our trip to Vancouver! The gardens were lovely although not at all what I expected. They had all the usual things – ramshackle walk through the bush, coupled with a series of themed gardens (including NZ, which I didn’t wander into – I figured it wasn’t the best use of time as I kind’ve knew how that would look). Really the thing that struck me – the none gardener – was how NZ public gardens (and those we encountered in Canada) are really rather British.
Bay area residents are mightily proud of their gardens and they should be. The GGP is full of many lovely open spaces and rambling walks. I think perhaps though I have been unduly influenced, both by Wellingtons public gardens and Flis (who continues to be a talisman of what creating a dream garden could be). This has led me to a vision of gardens that consist of a series of “rooms”, boxed hedging and raised beds…………very Vita and Violet. It was just one of those cultural moments. Lovely in itself and wildly worth celebrating for the share difference of it all. Oh and I am such a cheap-ass too. It was a mere 5 bucks to get into the Japanese garden but I can go for free, three days a week, as long as I get there before 10am so kept my cash in my pocket.
I have been researching how to get my book published (like I have written it yet), started writing and devised, what I hope will be, a clever plan to get all the info I need out of the archived boxes I have stored in NZ. At one level I feel like I am spinning my wheels but then have a tremendous sense that patients, combined with commitment, will take me where I need to go……..in fact historically that always happens – when it suits the past can be a fine measure for the future!
Next weekend I go back to Santa Cruz to go to the Cowboy Junkies concert with Michelle. In my mind I have a vision of SC and it will be interesting to head back with a view to “this is about to become my home”. I’ve started looking at places to live. The University breaks for the summer soon so I am already seeing a whole lot of places looking to sublet – complete with furniture.
The singular best thing K & B have taught me about life in the US is if you are going to spend money on anything research, research, research. It is a lesson well learnt and now I have the benefit of Michelle’s local knowledge - I hope I end up somewhere nice and that has a dog.

Da new plan

I've been in the states for 7 months - 5/6 months of which were spent in a wonderfully supportive environment that allowed me to recover from the past, with not much thought for the future. It seems the future is here and, to be honest, I've spent the last 4 weeks applying for jobs I don't want and........not getting them. I've always yakked on that if something isn't coming together for you then it's because you are doing the wrong something. So, in the interests of walking the talk, I've decided to stop applying for jobs I don't want and write a book on my experiences of Bosnia. It's been a long time coming and I can't think of another time in my life when I will have this much freedom.
While I could aspire to be the global comms manager for some large corp (and may have in the past) - it seems a little tedious and, well, not what I want to do. I do still have some "live" job applications out there but feel a singlemindedness about this.
I guess it's serendipitous that I find myself in the US with Michelle, who has always been a champion of my writing "the book" (along with a few others out there) and brings me full circle in my world.
It's all not quite as random as it sounds. I have a plan - I always have a plan. First I need to leave San Fran and go find somewhere cheaper to live. I am not coming back to NZ as I honestly believe I belong here and this is where I want to be. Honestly too the cost of living in NZ is not unlike here - only with fewer choices. I have a greencard so can work anywhere.
I've looked around a bit and have arrived back in California at Santa Cruz. There's a university, climates great, it's cute, not far from San Fran and jobs. I will get some kind of job. Something interesting, I hope, but not overly taxing.
I've also been researching how you actually go about getting a book published. It's all very possible and no more or less daunting than anything else I've done! That's my story and I am sticking to it.
Questions anyone?

Vote Different

If you haven't seen this you should! Caused quite alot of controversy here. Particularly as Obama denied it was from his camp then it turns out one of the guys who works for the PR agency that works for Obama did it in his own time........he's just lost his job - doesn't pay to let presidential candidates flattly deny any link and then be the link! Oh and I would appreciate a quiet round of applause because I figured out how to post this into my blog............