Reflections

It’s a strange world to be living in two places. Daily I am here, in SC, enjoying all the things it brings to me. Everything about being here is entirely manageable. I can walk the town – I like that – it is near the sea – I like that a lot – it is full of creative, eccentric, odd and genuinely engaging people – I remind myself to be present. Then I inhabit another world, the past. As I write I am thrown back in time. I am trying to capture not only the facts but the feeling - to convey something meaningful. I like writing. It has surprised me how much I like it. I am also surprisingly fearless in the things I say. I name people, some will be unhappy with how I describe my experience of them…….but it’s my experience. Some will disagree with how I remember things. Some will agree. But I don’t care – I’ve reached a point where I really don’t care. It is my story, as I would have it told. It’s not angry, mad, sad or bad. At least I don’t think it is – my “ghost editor” will keep me honest. When it is timely she will tell me if what I think I am doing is what I am actually doing.
What I think (and hope) is that it is genuinely interesting and thought provoking. At best it’s a good yarn, at better than best women who have served will read it and parts will resonate – that’s what I really care about – anything else is background. I have a single-minded determination to have this book published. I have only just realised that no other NZ women soldier (sailor nor air force personnel) has ever written their story. Why not?