Quietly calm

I am feeling quietly calm.  This 50 miler has been a year in the making.  It's a long way to run. I've run 50k (31 miles).  Now I have to magic up the extra 20.  I've done all I can in the best way I know.  My flaws and inadequacies revealed, at least to me.  I haven't been the best I could be in my training but I've been the best I can be in the moments.  Honestly I feel like I've worked hard.  I've had my moments, some revealed in this blog but many more moments revealed in my quiet time and one on one.  In talking about the training so much I haven't meant to be arrogant so much as keep myself honest.  Some months back a NZ friend called me out about being arrogant on Facebook because I shared my mileage etc etc etc.  It was such a kiwi moment.... I talk about it because it keeps me honest. I announce it and people then ask about the training and if I am failing to do the required training I am reminded I am failing and have to be honest.  Kiwis don't quite work like that though......the Americans love it and are among my greatest champions.  Because I tell them they know how to cheer for me.  Kiwi's well.....let's not talk about how we prepared for Mount Everest so much as we summited (I've read lots of mountaineering books for some odd reason).  But here's the thing that has me still be a kiwi - you don't almost climb Mount Everest, you don't almost get to the summit, you do it or you don't.......that's the 50.......trying hard isn't enough, do it, then you can brag......