Keeping on

So I've gone through the various ups and downs of the post marathon phase.  Enjoyed some remarkable conversations with people and had some notable failures; it's just the way these things run.

I'm still debating the 50k on December 1.......need to get back into training.  Although I'm not at all sure how to train for it.

Work continues on and I still have a somewhat "odd" project role, but am learning alot, so not complaining and happy to roll with things.  I'm working with the largest tech company in the world as part of the largest consulting company in the world.....life is surreal.

I had a great dinner with my career counsellor and the guy who recruited me in to ACN.  He was a senior manager when I joined and is now a Senior Executive ("Partner").  Davin has proven to be the most amazing character in my life.  He has this unfailing belief in me and has never doubted I would be successful.  I was never really sure about his optimism from the first moment we had the "what do you want to do Jody" conversation; this before I went on the path to joining ACN.  

He also wanted to hear about the 50 miler.....something very personal.  I felt prompted to share in a way I don't often with those that aren't close.  He asked good, insightful and probing questions.  It is an American moment for me - these near strangers who haven't know me long but find a point of engagement.  

I've got another cold and seriously contemplating the flu shot (I battle this decision every year!).

Moments in time

See the rollie thing

 Now that you've seen the photo stream I'll share a particular moment.  At some point after Katy joined me I became aware that I had some very acute pain in my right leg (wth, this is my GOOD leg).....Katy quickly noted it was my IT band and that we needed to stretch it out.  And that's exactly what happened as we approached the next checkpoint she ran ahead and told the team I needed the mat (I had thought to bring that ..... both Katy and Marcia had thought to bring the rollie thing I needed as well).
The team rolled out the "yoga" mat on the side of the road, seriously, just inside the white line at the edge of the road, all very safe, or at least I think it was....that's why you have a team, they make good decisions as you have to step up and make them happen.

I then had to do the equivalent of a "plank"....shades of Case in the day of  the gym session

It was incredibly painful.....hugely painful but I knew if I didn't do it I wouldn't finish.................

It  

Katy also did THE most painful massage I've ever had. I'm not sure I would have taken this from anyone else, I really really wanted to smack her, it was so painful I seriously had to restrain myself.  I've seen Katy tough out some incredible moments.....I sucked it up and went with it

At some point I'd done as much as I could and I was able to keep running

The strain shows. I am not sure it's clear but my hands are swollen I'd been watching it happen as we progressed.  In my mind I think at this point I know I have a ways to go and I've just got to keep going....... the day has dawned and there are far less miles to go than those that have been run.......if you can't think like that the you'll never finish.  It comes down to 10 miles, six miles, 1 mile......you've run 40 already, this is nothing........get.it.done.

It's not all glamor out there.......

How it was

So I've kept thinking that I have to tell some deep story about the 50 miler.  Edit it, turn it into something.  It was something, it really was.....but you know I had this amazing documentarian along for the ride.  She caught a bunch of moments and I've decided not to edit any of it but invite you into how she recorded it.

Every picture tells a story so I'll give you some snapshots of what I felt/thought when Irene posted these shots:

• wow, that's how it looked
• it was dark, really really really dark
• for every moment captured here I had the same moment and then some of being alone,  in the dark.  One part was scary, 20-30 miles.  The road was gnarly it was the magic hours (midnight to 4am).  I could only assume every fool on the road was drunk or off it and I had to move hard up against the  guard rail more than once
• I met the team at maybe 3/4am and they collectively looked hellish.....it humbled me as I knew they were there for me and they had individually made some collective sacrifices to be there but were 100% with me.....an unreasonable request and they all showed up
• Mile 30, I can't say how relieved I was to see the crew.  This was the turning point the unknown and they were still there......
• Katy joined me to run 17 miles from the end, we fell into a pattern.  Something easy and familiar and concurrently Marcia arrived from the side and I knew where Irene would be....at the end, filming
• The last 6 miles were tremendously difficult, I knew I'd make it, it just wasn't pretty.  But the team were there.....it was surreal and I really did have to rely on them to figure some things out, more than they knew I suspect
• Katy had some great lines when we hit a hill she didn't expect (well I knew it was coming....she'd forgotten) "Jody wtf is this?" and by fav "okay now you are running like an old woman".  She was running with a back injury.....seriously toughing it out.  Marica was forever present and incredibly pragmatic bringing all the practical things into play and very encouraging.  Irene was/is a quiet talisman.  She was unwell and I knew it and felt it so seeing her was an important touchstone.....she was ill and still there, I was hurting but felt a deep obligation to deliver on it all

So there it is.  There are subtle insightful things to say....but there it is.  It's was an awesome experience and I've chosen another 50 miler for next year.  I just have to register in time before it closes (registration hasn't opened yet).  Running 50 miles is difficult, not to be taken lightly, demands a bunch of stuff....but I liked it......

Thanks to the "Guest Blogger" and the team pt1

It was somewhat surreal to finish the race and check in on the blog and see the updates.  Marcia did an awesome job of keeping the blog up to date throughout the race - I never doubted she would, but her charm is clear as I read what she wrote; her generosity huge.
This first blog update post race goes out to the team; I couldn't have done it without them.....I'm not kidding, I really couldn't.  The race was "unsupported" for the first 46 miles.  What that means is no aid stations, nothing just you and whatever support you can provide.  So three remarkable people made huge sacrifices to be there and had to suffer through 13hrs in the decorated "van" overnight.  They never failed to show up at the agreed checkpoints (or near enough to) and arrived other places.  I never really had a good sense of where they would be so much as being totally confident they would be there.  It's a weird thing to pop out of these stretches of dark "aloneness" and see these friendly faces all going "how you doing?", "what do you need?".  They couldn't have known it but I would look for all three faces, wanting reassurance that they were all fine, as much as needing my own well being taken care of.
What do you need? was the simplest and best question to ask.  I felt a personal obligation to participate, be able to articulate what it was I needed....as time wore on it became harder to know on one level and easier on another.  The van was full of "nutrition" and water and as time wore on my instincts kicked in.  Early on I simply forced myself to eat.....on a marathon I eat virtually nothing and on the one 50k I did not much more.  None of that gets you through 50 miles.  Irene had prepared an array of food, things we hoped would work for me on the day.  To complete a 50 miler you have to eat along the way, you have to fuel right from the get-go.  Once your body is depleted it's tremendously hard to catch up and the price your body pays is unreasonably, potentially damaging and threatens your ability to complete the race.  So I forced myself to eat bananas, melon, more bananas early on - on one level it was personally  heinous - I didn't want the food on another, satisfying to think I could get past myself and do what I knew had to be done.
At one point, after what felt like a particularly long stretch, long after the half marathon distance (13m) but a little before the 50k (31m), I pulled out a half banana from my vest that I had requested at the last checkpoint.  I couldn't quite bring myself to eat it at the checkpoint but knew the team were monitoring that I was prepared, willing, able and actually eating.  I could sense it in how they responded when/if I didn't eat with them.  I briefly looked at it and put it back in my vest, then imagined later in the race, losing energy, feeling unable to go on and thinking how I would let the team down and they might feel bad, that it was somehow their responsibility if I didn't have the energy to finish.  So I pulled it out again, peeled it and choked it down.  There, my job was done in that moment.  I'd taken one for the team!