One year on

It’s my Oneth or my W’onth (NZT)………depending on how you view the world. I have arrived in a new and wonderful place; unexpected, challenging, uncertain, new, fun and full of possibility. A year that began with drama and unexpected hurt, characterised by bad behaviour and dishonesty, ends in optimism, delight, genuine happiness, a commitment to honesty and trusting my instincts, underpinned by a deep desire to live out my own personal dreams. These are the things I am celebrating:
- having the courage to live the dream, my dream; it is more than I could ever have anticipated
- the privilege of family, here and in New Zealand; it’s not until you ask that you know how much you are loved
- the privilege of longstanding friendships and the discovery of new friends (here and in NZ)
- writing the book and being determined not to blink from the choice, even on those days I so desperately want to
- letting go of the “things”
- never letting the drama get in the way of my celebrating my mothers 70th in Vancouver, winning my greencard, getting my masters and turning 40 – 39 was a big year; it’s not easy to step around the past and honestly celebrate the immediate when your inclination is to dwell, particularly when you are struggling to make sense of your world. I did step past it…….thanks to my family and friends (old and new)
- knowing I am in the right place, doing the right thing and that my future is here
- strangely and delightfully giving up eating myself (minds out of the gutter)…….I have cuticles……..I no longer gnaw on my fingers…how strange, it is a habit I have had since I was 8 years old
It’s been a helluva year but I’ve no regrets - alright maybe that one girl from San Fran I didn’t email back - oh well in the scheme of life that’s not bad and in the scheme of the last year……more a chuckle than a tragedy.
One thing I would change (although no longer feel personal angst about) – that I’d had the energy, the courage and emotional fortitude to really celebrate and say my goodbyes to the friends I was leaving behind, in body if not spirit. I’ll catch-up with you all in the end and trust that the good people hang around anyway.
Drinks are on me……..it’s a cheap round and expires in 24hrs (just as well – have you ever enjoyed one of my family get togethers………..nothing cheap about that!).